Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

Stroll...

I walked down the Boulevard, past houses I knew, others seemingly just noticed,
beneath a red cloud sky that hid meteors and stars. I walked in a definite stride towards an indefinite destination, and the night had the feeling of a dream.
 
In so many ways the heavy air was filled:  smoke from a cooking fire tickled throat and nostrils, reminded me of summers past;  humid air I could notice on my skin, reminded me of the first time I stood at a crossroad.  Now again, I remembered a found feather today, it was always a feather...in the signs that follow.

Echoes of a phone call, reminded of the coming horizon, darkness on the cusp of dawn; I went on. Passed a place I would have stopped, but because of a casual promise: to " turn around on the old stone steps",  I walked on.  A casual thing to be sure, but like all of my words these days, carried an added determination, a purer sense of openness, a great bond of a small faith. The moon was still new and swallowed by the questions in my eyes, and I didn't find it as I searched the night, either;  but found my kept words...echoed in my smile.






Author notes

http://allpoetry.com/poem/2844678

http://photographicvisionary.webs.com/apps/photos/photo?photoid=4785200

In a list

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • DogFish silver member
    August 14

    Edit | Reply
    I'm quite amazed by those who have addapted so well to Chandler's three stanza confessional prose poem challenge! I found it very intimidating.
    This poem is so wistful and entrancing; the prose and the poetry have intertwined like roses and a trellis.
    A real pleasure to read!


  • Mari Goes gold member
    August 14

    Edit | Reply
    The air filled with smell of cooking fire...so familiar.
    What a pleasant walking you had, even the absence of meteors shower and moon didn't spoil it.
    You described that strolling moment with dreaming pictures. I truly enjoyed it.
    Ah, and I guess that holding on to a promise can be a good thing after all


    • Peteskid gold member
      August 14

      Edit | Reply
      Thank you Mari-
      Yes, the promise made three things: i walked a few extra kilometers, i really got to search for the moon and meteors; and i learned something about myself...the little things matter a lot; all in all, a walk well spent... thanks for all...h

  • tara wilson gold member
    August 14

    Edit | Reply
    i really feel like this is one of your best...i love the mood you've created & the tone of your voice, i love "I walked in a definite stride towards an indefinite destination"
    i love the air filled with everything..
    suggestions for the ending, as my is used three times in that last sentence,
    maybe:


    echoed by my smile?
    echoed in my smile?
    in the echo of my smile?

    these might make the meaning of that last sentence a little deeper, too...

    of course, only suggestions, i totally enjoyed this stroll with you, such a pleasure.

    • Peteskid gold member
      August 14
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you Tara-
      Thank yo for you kind words so much appreciated, and the helpful edit too.
      I don't write a lot of prose or rhyme so i am determined to more of both. This was a good thing for me to try, agood time to try it. Thanks for all...H

  • "a definite stride towards an indefinite destination...." seems to set the tone for the whole piece. A sense of expectancy of good things...the "cusp of dawn" at what seems to be another humid but wonderful crossroad.

    "The moon was still new and swallowed by the questions in my eyes, and didn't find it as I searched the night, either; but found my kept words".... I love the assurance of those lines. Faith in the moon, in new things, even when they are not yet fully realized...and a certaincy of SELF, of promise or faith.

    This is a beautiful bit of confessional poetry and of heart, bearing your trademark QW and positive outlook. I love it.

    • Peteskid gold member
      August 14
      Edit | Reply
      I don't think that confessional poetry will ever be a favorite thing, i'd much rather confess everyone else's sins ...anyway, thanks for you kind words and insightful comment; yes there was a definite mood and positive is the best way; to search for the light...Thank you...PK


  • Nicolette gold member
    August 14

    Edit | Reply
    and the eyes of the poet walked with him, taking it all in, and then releasing it as something as wonderfully reflective and spiritual as this. isn't it great how these strolls open up new pathways... wonderful writing, PK

    ~ Nicolette

    • Peteskid gold member
      August 14
      Edit | Reply
      Nicolette-
      I agree a stroll in the evening when the busy day can settle and we can take stock...and I am ever surprised at how I see things so differently, with relaxation, with focus...whole new world right there in front of our eyes...
      thanks for all...PK

1 - 9 of 9