God and bondage don't mix
Take the doubt from his words
And twist them into happiness
I'm hanging around in puddles
Of his hidden tears
Waiting for him to smile.
It's a long way from here to there
Don't bind us to a cloud of rain.
Author notes
prompt:
my small black dress by lafaette, deviantart
In a list
- {Free Verse} • next in list
- {Starts With T} • next in list
- VI. Ex-Files: Break-up Poems & Poems That Were Too Good To Destroy • next in list
A contest entry
- since oh.my.juliet asked... by Kathraina.
550 points, ended August 14, 6 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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This is a great poem! The imagery is fantastic! I love the phrase, "I'm hanging around in puddles of his hidden tears...waiting for him to smile." The message is beautifully upbeat also; very inspirational! A very nicely written poem. I'm glad I stopped by to read it!
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Whenever each line is capitalized without it being a true new line it adds misplaced focus for me, it makes me look down the first line to see if it's an acrostic. Not a criticism but simply a shared perspective dear poetess. The title ties the piece up nicely. The first line blew me away, love it, wish I had coined it to put in the slot machine of kerching, kerching, what the holy hell is happening?
Congratulations on a well deserved Honourable Mention!
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I love those last two lines, just like the people below lol, but it's true they are the perfect ending to this beautiful poem. This was such a creative take on the prompt, amazing write!
Blessings,
~Michaela~
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Wow, those last two lines are astounding! Very indepth.
Great job with this write, I love your take on the prompt.
Fantastic imagery and flow to this piece.
Bravo and thank you
♥ Kate -
I loved the way you ended this. Great job!
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