Characters:
7 yr old daughter
mother
Daughter: where do babies come from?
mother: (eyes widen) what?
Daughter: Where do babies come from?
Mother: Well,um...you know Santa Claus,right?
Daughter: Yeah,we text.
Mother: Well, there's another Santa Claus but he's a stork and the stork gives babies away instead of gifts.
Daughter: So...was I on your list?
Mother: What?
Daughter: Was I on your list?
Mother: ....oh, of course you were. Your exactly what I wanted. Your perfect.
Daughter: So what do you get if your bad, coal?
Mother: No, you get a baby that's meant for another couple then a divorce.
Author notes
J u n o 1 0 1
I'm not sure if I should make this longer, should I?
A contest entry
- dialogue. **this is a call to the color blind** by stepbystep.
650 points, ended November 22, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
What do you think?
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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"yeah, we text."
that's absolutely perfect. this is really clever, nice job.
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LOL
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ouch. But fascinating. I liked it - kept me interested.
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well I love the dialoge form,
it seems unique and fresh to me
but it wouldve been nice if the ending was a bit more conclusive
=) -
I like the poem but I would change the ending
I would change the ending to Mother No, you get something that you didn't want...
Or something like that. Poetry usually speaks of pain and does not inflict pain unnecessarily. -
haha...thats sorta funny and sorta mean.
i think you shouldn't say retarded kid, maybe something else? nice write though, i am terrible at writing humor.
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Lol funny as a joke not sure bout a poem. Maybe instead of script u could have all the mothers lines in italics etc. Bit ironic spelling retarded wrong though...
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Oh Wow!
The ending was too good.
A bit insensitive, but still funny. -
I think it shouldn't be written like a script, more like a book but maybe poetically?
Hmm, although, I do like how you made this cliche a little bit original with that humorous touch every now and then throughout the piece
Spellcheck, though with lines 13 and 15; good luck in the contest
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lol
lol, i like it. i think tho, it shouldnt be a retarded kid, but..like...idk..something else. =D but otherwise i like it.
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