Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Ocean's Katana

I could care less about your body,
leaner now and stitched with color.

Don't give a damn about that hair,
wear it one way or another.

That face, more worn than was before,
lacks trademark illustrious shine.

But it's those eyes that sicken me,
  those eyes are still mine.

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • Mr Majenta gold member
    August 14

    Edit | Reply
    your poems can get more done in the time it takes mine to get their pants on. either a) you're a minimalist, or b. you're a closet nudist


  • RacinThePen
    August 13

    Edit | Reply
    A short poem packed with great emotion and power. Very deep. I enjoyed it alot for I think I understand what you're trying to say. Great read


  • Uniquely-Scarred
    August 13
    Edit | Reply
    I ENJOYED THE READ, IT SAYS A LOT FOR SUCH A SHORT POEM, TAKE CARE


  • Bianca Melody
    August 13

    Edit | Reply
    woah, now that is powerful.
    those last two lines are like a bullet. seriously fantastic. i love the 'trademark illustrious shine' as well.
    where it says; That face, more worn than was before,
    should it be ... more worn that IT was before ??
    I don't really know what katana means, so the title baffles me lol.
    but seriously well done, i really enjoyed reading this poem.
    love
    bianca melody