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Virginia

Mommy always pulls back
the wisps of sunshine.

It's only to remind her
that nothing should ever fall-

out of place.

Tears should remain behind the eyes;
only a glimpse of grief allowed for the mourning.
The shatter of emotions sounding
only against the emptiness inside her.

And hair should never ever
cover the face.

So she tames her honeyed spirit
accepting those restrictive locks;
and floods her heart
    instead of her face.

Because of course she knows
(Mommy has told her a million times)

For God's sake Virginia
It makes you look like a hellion;
wild and unruly.
One would question my parenting.
What would they think of me...
of my incorrigible child?

You want everyone to know
you're a good little girl;
Don't you?

But daddy adored her curls,
let loose, to frame her angelic face.
A picture of what Heaven must be made of;
and he held it beneath the pocket of his soul.

Willful and free-spirited
He forever loved her.

He called her his Only Heart...
His Golden Wings;
as he smoothed the hair from her eyes.

If she were his wings,
how could he fly away

without her?

Who will hold her now?
When the dams collapse
and she finally drowns,
who will understand?

She needs to feel protected.
So she untangles the ties.

Wisps of sunshine
fall
and she can feel the kiss,
against her cheek.

With each passing of the wind
a memory.
She sighs a bittersweet melancholy

Bound-  no longer
by loneliness
in this big overbearing world.

With her tears,
she can hear his whisper

"I had to be carried,
without my baby girl;
without my Golden Wings.
But I'm here waiting for you.
Just take your time,
Genny love;
Take your time"




Author notes

I might be working on this more. If anyone has suggestions on how to better it let me know please. Also if you have a better title I'd take suggestions for that too.

I used the picture prompt
http://arzs.deviantart.com/art/Bound-133131608

A contest entry

I would love a critical comment on how I can make these lyrics better.

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 5 of 5
  • This was really nicely done. Sweetness ,tenderness, love, and not overly done, or cliche. Great poetry.


  • cricketjeff gold member
    August 15

    Edit | Reply
    There's some sweet and tender poetry in here, with some beautiful thoughts put into the mind of a father, I'm a Dad, I approve!

    Then a sad and thoughtful conclusion, good poetry all round

    Jeff


  • My Chronos gold member
    August 15
    Edit | Reply
    Very sweet and emotional. Thank you for sharing.


  • katz
    August 15

    Edit | Reply

    very good

    how sweet and touching. The love a father has for a daughter. Parents need to know that their words stick with their child for a lifetime. I really like this part:

    With her tears,
    she can hear his whisper

    "I had to be carried,
    without my baby girl;
    without my Golden Wings.
    But I'm here waiting for you.
    Just take your time,
    Genny love;
    Take your time

    To know that someone waits for her must giver her such comfort....at least that's the way I feel.

  • Phrase:

    copperbottomed

    Quote:

    I don't really trust a sane person.
    Lyle Alzado (1949 - 1992)

    Picture:

    http://arzs.deviantart.com/art/Bound-133131608

1 - 5 of 5