Mommy always pulls back
the wisps of sunshine.
It's only to remind her
that nothing should ever fall-
out of place.
Tears should remain behind the eyes;
only a glimpse of grief allowed for the mourning.
The shatter of emotions sounding
only against the emptiness inside her.
And hair should never ever
cover the face.
So she tames her honeyed spirit
accepting those restrictive locks;
and floods her heart
instead of her face.
Because of course she knows
(Mommy has told her a million times)
For God's sake Virginia
It makes you look like a hellion;
wild and unruly.
One would question my parenting.
What would they think of me...
of my incorrigible child?
You want everyone to know
you're a good little girl;
Don't you?
But daddy adored her curls,
let loose, to frame her angelic face.
A picture of what Heaven must be made of;
and he held it beneath the pocket of his soul.
Willful and free-spirited
He forever loved her.
He called her his Only Heart...
His Golden Wings;
as he smoothed the hair from her eyes.
If she were his wings,
how could he fly away
without her?
Who will hold her now?
When the dams collapse
and she finally drowns,
who will understand?
She needs to feel protected.
So she untangles the ties.
Wisps of sunshine
fall
and she can feel the kiss,
against her cheek.
With each passing of the wind
a memory.
She sighs a bittersweet melancholy
Bound- no longer
by loneliness
in this big overbearing world.
With her tears,
she can hear his whisper
"I had to be carried,
without my baby girl;
without my Golden Wings.
But I'm here waiting for you.
Just take your time,
Genny love;
Take your time"
Author notes
I might be working on this more. If anyone has suggestions on how to better it let me know please. Also if you have a better title I'd take suggestions for that too.
I used the picture prompt
http://arzs.deviantart.com/art/Bound-133131608
A contest entry
- and so... by Randomly Beautiful.
400 points, ended August 23, 14 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
I would love a critical comment on how I can make these lyrics better.
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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This was really nicely done. Sweetness ,tenderness, love, and not overly done, or cliche. Great poetry.
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There's some sweet and tender poetry in here, with some beautiful thoughts put into the mind of a father, I'm a Dad, I approve!
Then a sad and thoughtful conclusion, good poetry all round
Jeff
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Very sweet and emotional. Thank you for sharing.
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very good
how sweet and touching. The love a father has for a daughter. Parents need to know that their words stick with their child for a lifetime. I really like this part:
With her tears,
she can hear his whisper
"I had to be carried,
without my baby girl;
without my Golden Wings.
But I'm here waiting for you.
Just take your time,
Genny love;
Take your time
To know that someone waits for her must giver her such comfort....at least that's the way I feel.
-
Phrase:
copperbottomed
Quote:
I don't really trust a sane person.
Lyle Alzado (1949 - 1992)
Picture:
http://arzs.deviantart.com/art/Bound-133131608
Adding your comment:
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