With a twinkle of moonlight
Across the treetops
The shrilling, cold wind
Chills my body
And I become eerily derived
As I hear a softly spoken voice
When I know I'm alone
In my field at night.
A contest entry
- I Wanted To Collect The Sky In My Hands <3 by EvenStarsBreak--x.
700 points, ended August 23, 35 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Madness by Haley-baby1.
750 points, ended August 29, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
HONEST FEEDBACK...
Comments
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Notes need revised.
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A bit short, but nonetheless very creative! ^_^ I quite enjoyed it. =] Excellent piece. =]
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Welcome to AllPoetry!
I really like this poem, it is tranquil, and even the ending isn't creepy - I imagined a more protective tone
the only thing that I would suggest you look at in terms of constructive criticism is not capping the first letter of every line, it interrupts the flow because it indicates a new sentence other than that this was awesome!
Welcome to the site, I hope that you enjoy your time here at AllPoetry!
Polly
Site Greeter -
Welcome to AllPoetry
I'm glad you've gotten the knack of entering contests
The imagery in this is unqiue and I enjoy the thought -
"The shrilling, cold wind" - I really like this line, 'shrilling' isn't a word I've heard alot in poetry so I'm quite flad to see it here
Best of Luck in the Contests
I hope you enjoy AllPoetry and continue to share your words with us
♥
Stay safe
~Manda
Site Greeter
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