an apology to norma, who is a cat

he wouldn't even tell me where my shoes were so
I padded around til i found them,
and the floor stuck to my
palms and toes, and I thought
about my father
in a gray suit and yarmulke,
as I slid
in my white bikini and high heeled shoes,
into the soupy dark.

I met you after this.

when you found me, i said,
please, i am not this girl,
just like I said to the boy, at the party-
as he padded my ass toward the exit,
backdoor, boy, let's
not let my friends see,
for i am not this girl

i said it to you like
some whispered wish you could make real
as you twirled your soft spine
around my ankles
the whole way home.

and I said,
thank you,
I said, i love you,
i said
whatever a stupid drunk girl says
to a cat, or a man,
or a box of mozzarella sticks
on a walk in the city
in the middle of the night.

and when i reached home, i sat on the curb
and let my stomach flap over,
you watched and
licked your paws.
i took you into my arms, and
you whined,
you were silky and i felt entitled
to your pelt, felt
that you had been placed
in my path just for me to snatch you up
press you against my
cold belly
and flood me with me some
makeshift love.
i said to purr, but you struggled,
I held your paws down and you
scratched my thigh

There was blood on my sheets the next morning,
I've even got a little scar,
I think of you when I see it,
and all I really want to say is,
I'm glad you had claws.