Nursery Rhymes From Hell
Peter Peter pussy eater,
Slayed his wife and tried to freeze her!
He threw her down the drinking well
And when he died went straight to hell
Little Amy Andrews puked up her supper
Thin as a rake the bulimic nutter,
She gets by on many a food binge
Then vomits it up without a winge
Pat my cake, pat my cake lover man
Pat my cake as fast as you can
Pat it and lick and finger me hard
But make sure you first dip it in lard.
Little Jane Horner sat in the corner
Fiddling with her triangular pie
She put in a finger , wanted something bigger
But with no-one around she just let out a sigh
Jack be nimble
Jack be quick
Jack sucks his
own candlestick.
Author notes
there is a bit of an adult theme, i have re-written 5 nursery rhymes for your amusement. 
A contest entry
- Nursery Rhyme Hell by annother.
1050 points, ended August 21, 2009, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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ARGH!
Porno-nursery! LOOK OUT! Porno-nursery!
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LOL giggles!!!! i do have a sick sense of humour. thanks for stopping by and reading this.
Ang
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Hysterical
Ang you are such a pervert, not that that is any new news! LOL!
btw I found the 2000mmbr and xmas party photos of us! Bwah ha ha ha ha! -
Haha! Great job! I feel like I just watched a porno.
Best of luck in the contest.
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Haha this is hilarious...
"Jack be nimble
Jack be quick
Jack sucks his
own candlestick."
The others are strange and don't really make sense, but this one is golden!
I don't really see how these are nursery rhymes from hell, I mean you don't even reference to hell besides in the first rhyme. The title kind of misguides the reader in my opinion.
I'd just call these "graphic nursery rhymes." You can probably think of a more suitable title, but I really enjoyed the immaturity of that last one.
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LOL thanks for your comment,although i have entered this into a contest asking to re-write the rhymes with a dark theme this is what i came up with. it was mostly done for the fun of it.
thanks again for reading and commenting i value your honesty.
ang
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Very twisted but just like down below...very funny.
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i love to twist things to suite my very twisted and evil mind.... some accuse me of my mind being in the gutter but oh well im happy down there. LOL
thanks for commenting
ang -
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I really enjoyed reading...sorry if my comments aren't a mile long. I am new at all poetry and trying to get better in that area. You were a busy lil bumblebee lol. I realized I commented on three of your poems last night. Good job on all!
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twisted but GREAT
i think that is hilarious
love it
lovely write
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thank you for your comment, it was a lot of fun to write or rather to r-write
ang
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Wow, this is truely twisted. Very haunting but it makes you think about the dark side to nursery rhymes. Good work
Thanks for sharing, have a good day!
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thank you for commenting. before i started to re-write the rhymes i was reading about the history and meaning of them, most of the rhymes are a way of depicting history as well as the darker side thereof, so they pretty dark to start off with.
thanks again
ang
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