daughter
my fingers are knotted
with regrets
I pretend I have forgotten.
I see you,
sunlight beating quickly
from your half-beauty.
you smile into the creases
of your lover
with your mother's eyes
from years ago
when we still loved--
I see her in you,
making love to a boy
in the summer afternoon,
consumed in the honey
and silk of romance
and I want you to suffer
the way I have.
A contest entry
- empathy ii by piggyback.
1600 points, ended October 2, 7 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - favorites only! prewrites i haven't commented on. by sideways hourglass.
650 points, ended August 20, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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Lovely romance imagery and that ending is so poignant. Really must hurt, on both ends. Nice job here.
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though i liked the concept you were developing, it was just alright for me at first; but the last two couplets are what nailed it perfectly in place. it was an unexpected spin, yet it wrapped it all together. i like this a lot.
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This is intensely gorgeous write. It carries subtlety and more. I cannot pick out a line from this write because I enjoyed it so.
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