You stood close to me-
a kilometer away from your shoes watching
clouds slowly move away from
streetlights. In the night
there are large moths
passing through sleep itself and
not enough sheets
to cover verrucas
on your feet. We looked
in to each others eyes
and felt cold
burrowing through them:
Tiny moles creating hunger
in the lines
we just couldn't write anymore.
Author notes
There is a track off galaxie 500's album on fire from 1989 called decomposing trees.
It feels as though there is about five different songs wanting to tear out and be independent of the track itself. The saxophone portions in the verse and down to the rattling in the background. It's almost the musical equivalent of the lacanian notion of the big other.
The Mexican melodrama is another symbol of this. As opposed to learning lines each actor has an ear piece to which the director instructs. "Embrace but pull back after a couple of seconds, tell him you can't do it anymore" This is the unwritten constitution which controls the very reference points for humanity. There might be something for poetry after all.
A contest entry
- Introspection: a series-- auditions by unraveled.
700 points, ended August 25, 20 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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beautifully penned art ~gypsy~
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wow. i don't have the words anymore for an acceptable comment, so aces to everything. esp- the third stanza. been a while...
better than ever. makes me want to reread the first poem I read of yours... big controversy. actually I think I will.
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this poem is a fine example of what my poems yearn to be. Where I merely pretend to be a poet, you have without a doubt nailed it in every way. I can hardly believe this got "honorable", I refuse to read the winners.
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i came back for another read. you are incredibly talented sir!
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i love this, so creative, i love the large moths passing through sleep....wonderful poetry.
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yes
yes yes yes. if not for the poem itself, for the fact that the world needs you writing more. lol
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For Introspection, my vote is yes.
You are a wonderful writer. I am wondering if 'is' instead of 'are' in the 3rd stanza was intentional? I think it sounds okay (though grammatically incorrect) as is.
Lovely, lovely. Full of sighs and regrets of a strange kind- not necessarily wishing you didn't feel that way but maybe wishing it could have been different.
-Cassidy -
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yeah your alteration sounds a lot better; thanks.
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you always have the best beginnings to your poems.
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I love the abstract feeling of this, your words combined very nicely and they complimented each other, it really made me imagine and think. Great work!
x
Thanks for sharing,
keep writing! -
*see lists above*
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