Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

The horses

The thundering roars around,
then leaving no sound.
As loud as a thunder clap,
but as quiet as a lighting strike.
Again,again,
Where has it been?
I feel no rain,
but i feel hoofbeats.
Running swiftly thorugh the trees,
trudging through the leaves.
A Big Black Stallion stands before me.

is it long enough? what do you think?

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • deepintheshadow
    August 12
    Edit | Reply
    this is really good! and i'm guessing by your name, i love horses as much as you do! great job!


  • nichtmich silver member
    August 12

    Edit | Reply
    Very will done, I like the way you use thunder and lightning as imagery for the galloping of the horse. The words swiftly and trudging seem to contradict each other and the last line needs a little more, maybe just a few lines, IMO Still, it leaves me feeling like I've been to a magical place and seen somthing magnificent!