Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Willing Captive

I feel the need to vomit butterflies
And get these vivid rainbows out of my head
Every word and work and thought is wrapped in honey
Sweet enough to sicken even the sourest critic

Yes, these whimsical thoughts that flit and flirt
Around my heart are dizzying in the extreme
Even my eyes are misty like the Newfoundland coast
Blinking does nothing to clear this catch

So my rose-coloured life goes doggedly forward
Dragging my confounded senses along for the ride
And as much as I want to shun this shell of blissful perfection,
I can't 
I am in love

Critical comments, please. And if you PEEK, SPEAK!

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

  • Breelynn
    September 22

    Edit | Reply
    Nice. I really enjoyed this. Isn't love just wonderful? I love the feeling you describe here. It 's the best part of being in love. The hard part is getting this feeling to last forever. Somehow it always tends to fade away. I knew from the first verse:
    I feel the need to vomit butterflies
    that you were talking about being in love. I've never heard it expressed quite like that....vomiting butterflies but it is a perfect description.
    Very nice write.