I’m alone in a foggy street, unfortunate.
Mistiness in the rain blurs my way around.
Your sobs' echo in the haze sounds desperate
I'm alone in a foggy street, unfortunate.
I cherish your devotion my tender soulmate
I'm blessed for, your sweet radiance I have found
I’m alone in a foggy street, unfortunate.
Mistiness in the rain, blurs my way around
Oh to retain the intensity of your gaze,
as my heartbeats suspiciously accelerate.
Your last gentle wave has left my mind in a daze.
Oh to retain the intensity of your gaze,
as your sorrow has brought tears to a night sky glaze.
Waking up on my own, vain escapes, twisted fate
Oh to retain the intensity of your gaze,
as my heartbeats suspiciously accelerate.
Two pigeons blue and grey flap on the windowsill.
Lifetime mates, a tender glimpse to them suffices.
Perfect ornaments, signs of a heavenly deal.
Two pigeons blue and grey flap on the windowsill.
Loving dreams golden hearts destiny turns lives' mill.
Luminous omens confirm cosmos' advices.
Two pigeons blue and grey flap on the windowsill.
Lifetime mates, a tender glimpse to them suffices.
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Author notes
An attempt to write a triolet form about John Donne's life and his poem "A valediction forbidding mourning"
A contest entry
- Inspiration from a Master (Or mistress) by Aedara-Wren.
520 points, ended August 25, 6 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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You say in your authors notes this was an attempt,Clearly it is far more than that Or it would not have acquired a well deserved silver award
I love this form but as with many others I fear to attempt them
Excellent
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Thank you so much for your kindness, really rhyming for me is a difficult task I'll do it as I see it as a challenge, well the English language is a perpetual challenge to me anyway.
To take a break with writing I am enjoying AP graphic tuition for a few days.
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Congrats on the Silver.
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wonderful
What a great write for the prompt. So very well done. Best of luck in the contest.
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This poem is very different from Donne's but thats not to say there's a problem there. I enjoyed the repetition and the way it seems almost like a chorus or a round placing each line carefully within the pattern of others to give each verse a slightly different theme. Some really subtle and beautiful images. Well written.
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