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Numbered days

 

 

 

 

The heat from summer’s sun soon disappears
as Autumn’s chill awakes another day,
mellow mist makes dew drop crystal tears
on meadow grass that sighs a gentle sway.

The chatter of the squirrels in the trees
a cackle as a crow flies overhead,
the rain of russet leaves upon a breeze
lay down a blanket on an earthy bed.

A country store of berries, red and black
provide a winter fund of food for free,
Jack Frost and his cold army will attack
‘til spring warms up the earth to make them flee.

All season’s days are numbered by the earth
each year in spring true nature has re-birth.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

The picture used for this is
http://img2.photographersdirect.com/img/18454/wm/pd1681807.jpg

A Shakespearian sonnet.
Rhyme scheme used
abab cdcd efef gg.
Three stanzas and a couplet.

In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 30 of 30

  • FloridaGatorQueen silver member
    September 26

    Edit | Reply
    This is very beautifully written. You described autumn perfectly in my eyes. I really enjoyed the read!!! Thank you for entering my contest.


  • Still Standing gold member
    September 15

    Edit | Reply

    Great job

    Once again the images provide an outstanding portrait of a fun season. I enjoyed this write also thanks for entering and good luck!

  • Topnotchsy
    August 20

    Edit | Reply
    I love Shakespearean sonnets and your final couplet is really a lovely way to conclude the poem. We tend to appreciate that which we think is "numbered" (so many people only reconcile with family and old friends when they find out that their days are numbered) and transposing the idea to the seasons is a reminder to take every beautiful day of every season and enjoy for the unique beauty and joys that that season provides.


    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      August 21
      Edit | Reply
      The seasons always remind me how fragile life can be and I agree with you, enjoy each day whatever the season, but I must admit to Autumn being my favorite

      Thank you for all your comments, I appreciate them all.

      Sue
      x


  • Lulu Gee silver member
    August 18

    Edit | Reply

    Congratulations....

    You deserve that gold trophy Sue...
    It feels very autumnal in the early mornings now when I walk my dogs and I'm going blackberry picking this afternoon so it was doubly lovely to read this beautiful poem.
    Your words flow from the page and leave such a wonderful imprint on one's mind....fab as usual...Lu x


    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      August 18
      Edit | Reply
      Many thanks Lu for such a lovely comment, when you've washed the blackberries take a spoonful of ice-cream and stir a few into it and eat ... delicious.
      Enjoy your afternoon

      Sue


  • moonbumps silver member
    August 17

    Edit | Reply
    Well done the Gold and well deserved too.
    Flows like cream down a spoon-


  • Wandering Woodchuck silver member
    August 17

    Edit | Reply
    Nice job on this one Sue. I look forward to the cooler days of autumn. It has been oppressively hot here for a few days after a cool wet summer. I am looking at your poem and wondering if those are blackberries or black raspberries. Apparently black raspberries are not so well known. They are what is growing through my porch. I pick them and eat them for breakfast.

    I enjoyed this from start to finish. Congratulations on the gold goblet.

    Mike


    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      August 17
      Edit | Reply
      Many thanks Mike for the comment, I'm pretty sure they're blackberries, whatever they are they look very tasty

      Sue
      x


  • Thomas Scott gold member
    August 17

    Edit | Reply

    Boffo!

    The craft of poetry, the wordsmithing, use of devices and such trickery, is more and more evident in your stuff, Sue.
    The heart and soul, of course, has always been there.

    Tom


    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      August 17
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you Tom for both the comment and the compliment. I'm still only a novice when it comes to writing, but I'm learning a little more every day.

      Sue
      x


  • csmmoms2
    August 12

    Edit | Reply
    This fountain of us

    We should all bathe
    in this fountain
    of over and under
    and let the waters
    of life cleanse, enhance, reveal
    The wishes of all of us sparkle in the dish
    Which holds our hopes to be drawn up to dance once more
    Wherever our spring whatever our days might bring
    What we feel today is what will mean most of all
    When we feel confused by the chill of November
    The fountain in the spring is what we remember
    This fountain of us: winter summer spring and fall
    -c


    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      August 12
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you Chuck
      .
      This has to be the most beautiful comment I have ever received.

      Sue
      x


  • BuriedTreasures silver member
    August 11

    Edit | Reply
    A beautifully versed Sonnet, Sue and a wondeful coloring of the seasons--
    Well Done & best of luck in the contest!


  • UncleDunk gold member
    August 11

    Edit | Reply
    How do you do it? I'd sell my soul to write that one line - "mellow mist makes dew drop crystal tea". It's scary how good you are.


    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      August 12
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you so much for the comment and especially the compliment, but I feel there are some who are much better than I.

      Sue
      x


  • ceegeeess
    August 11

    Edit | Reply

    your sonnet brought us spring on A.P.

    each year in spring true nature has re-birth.


    each year in spring true nature has re-birth." your sonnet is like spring on the net. Thank you sweet Sue!





  • arafura gold member
    August 11
    Edit | Reply
    Love it!


  • Lily of the Valley
    August 11

    Edit | Reply

    Lovely sonnet ...

    It seems summer is almost over before it began this year but perhaps we'll have an Indian summer instead, with days full of everything you depict here.

    Favourite lines:
    mellow mist makes dew drop crystal tears
    on meadow grass that sighs a gentle sway

    I like the dew in autumn, especially caught in spiders webs on crisp mornings, but I could also imagine it on the grass gently swaying. It makes me look forward to autumn this year


    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      August 12
      Edit | Reply
      Many thanks Sue for your comment, I'm so glad you enjoyed this poem. I look forward to Autumn every year, it's my favourite season, as if you hadn't already guessed

      Sue


  • Legend silver member
    August 11

    Edit | Reply
    What a wonderful image to accompany this sonnet.the berries depict the autumn so well
    Seems like the summers seasons days were numbered wrongly this year.Oh well it will soon be Christmas and we can get the bar-b-ques out and get a tan
    Excellent


    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      August 11
      Edit | Reply
      I didn't know you'd emigrated

      Thanks for reading Richard and I'm sorry for confusing you as to the seasons, but as you say ... 'it will soon be Christmas'.

      Sue
      x


  • TransientByNature
    August 11

    Edit | Reply

    A Shakespearian Sonnet!

    I love Shakespearian sonnets! I've been trying to write one lately so I recognized it immediately :-)

    The little bits of alliteration here and there provided a nice touch!:
    "summer’s sun soon disappears"
    "mellow mist makes dew drop crystal tears"
    "a cackle as a crow flies"
    "the rain of russet leaves"
    "provide a winter fund of food for free,"

    It was not overdone and incorporated subtly, for the most part, which is the perfect way to do it. The alliteration never became a distraction and it added a bit of flavor to the poem.

    Beautiful imagery, Autumn is my favorite season :-) (if it wasn't obvious)

    This is by far the most artistically composed and well thought out poem so far in this contest. Good job :-


    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      August 16
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you so much for the gold in your contest and for a full and lovely comment. You picked my favourite season for the contest, so for me it was an easy one to write for.

      Thanks again.

      Sue
      x


  • Pattiboo silver member
    August 11

    Edit | Reply

    beautiful picture

    mellow mist makes dew drop crystal tears

    I live in the countryside and am surrounded by meadows and fields woods and trees. Autumn is beautiful with it's colours but for me also sad, a time of death
    and decay. Today I picked wild blackberries.( early this year) as a child I picked them for my mother to make bramble jelly. The hips and haws are turning red and the webs the spiders spin are covered with 'crystal tears'.

    thank you for an enjoyable read.


    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      August 11
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for a wonderful comment and I'm glad you enjoyed the read. Autumn is my favourite season and living in Kent, also surrounded by countryside like you, I appreciate all the seasons. I remember picking blackberries and Mum making bramble jelly as well, on fresh bread with real butter

      Memories ...

      Sue

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