~by Gregg Rowe~
I've had almost
twenty years to think
about it
I don't ever
want to be diagnosed
with AIDS
While being a
human immune-deficiency carrier;
became a hero
in my own Greek tragedy
I know the doctor
will come one day
with a diagnosis of AIDS
the people who put
me on a pedestal
will revert to pity
render me weak and incompetent
By then I
would be so exhausted
from fighting
this war to live
I would just succumb
Author notes
Written January 4th, 2004
In a list
A contest entry
- What are you afraid of? by .
300 points, ended January 27, 2006, 23 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Fear by brokenpoet.
300 points, ended December 22, 2006, 37 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 47 of 47
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I really hope you are going to be okay. I really, honestly do. This is very short and to the point and written very well too.
Thanks for entering,
Brokenpoet -
A simple, yet powerful poem. I guess we're all afraid of things that are out of our control.
I apologise for not writing a more in-depth comment, but I'm hard pressed for time and with so many entries ... well you know how it goes.
Great work, and thanks for entering.
x -
I have the feeling that you will continue to fight on. Your fears are truely understandable. If anyone were to try to pity you, they have never had to go through anything remotely traumatizing. Its not fair to have to live in fear, and if you keep fighting, if you keep persuing your dreams you won't let yourself go to waste. Nice write and very inspirational work. Keep writing, keep smiling.
*~~*Holly -
Gregg, your words are truely inspirational, i can understand your fears, I have a good friend with exactly the same fears, but i know your spirit, you won't succumb, it's not your nature! I guess, in the long run, we're all afraid of something like this, there are so many diseases to contract, it's scary when you really think about it! Well, as I always say, live each moment to it's fullest! I wish you the best, now and always, and keep writing, your poetry is always a pleasure to read
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This had strong allusions to the movie Philadelphia. That said, I truly enjoyed it and really admire versatility and the poignant grace in your words.
Great work!
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im with runawaytrain on this. very emotional. i dont know what to say. but i hope it helped some to write it down and get it out.
Blu -
I must say you have some amazing talent for writing a subject that must be very difficult to write about. This is such a personal poem, your a very strong person for being able to share this with us. I can understand completely your fears of not wanting to be diagnosed with AIDS. I wish the best for you. You're a wonderful poet who has extreme talent.
~Cherie -
No no no no you will not get aids and you will not succumb to it, I won't allow it. You have survived this long, you WILL survive another 20 years. You are a delight to have on this site, so don't even think of succumbing GOT IT!! Jennifer
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Damn.. this poem was really really good. I could feel the pain you are going though.. I truly could understand what ur going though. I have a uncle who has aids.. and it hurts to see him live though life like this. but when I read this poem I could feel tears cummin to my eyes. it was so amazing
-
i wont lie but sadness overwhelmes when i read these words . no game no other way to say it than with the truth . i can only imagine your strength cause i havent got it . i couldnt imagine if i was put in your situation , very brave and strong is what i feel . god bless the soldier that stands before me stay strong..
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Gregg, you totally rock!!!You're my true inspiration as a writer. Your words spill beautiful images and flows all so well. Saddie23
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excellent
Gregg,Just from reading what little I have read of your work,I can never see anybody ever see you as weak.You are a hero in my book.You face this diaease with that hero attitude,and every word you write protrays that. Also thanks for you ovation it means the world to me.Stay strong !!!
Jacki
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I honestly believe the only reason you have lived this long is because you are a trooper, a fighter, a militant against dying. Go ahead baby, keep that courage pumping, FUCK AIDS! It will not beat you, you are a winner! The gold proves it!!!
Much Love,
Renee
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Cancer and Aids, both diseases that must be fought with every fibre of being and both diagnoses come when the fight to survive has already exhausted resources. I'm sorry to know that it's a daily battle but glad to know that despite your ambivalence, you fight on.
-
If you keep commenting on my works I have to put you on my friend's list
, I really appreciate your comments, because as you can tell; some to these were very hard to pen, but if I don't than I have nightmares 
Gregg 
Edited on May 05, 11:11 p.m. because ''. -
Hard to know what to say to something as honest as this. I just feel honored to have found your words. They humble me.
-
your strength and courage amazes me keep penning, and i send you lots of hugs and love and leep fighting your fight and bless you
lisa xxxx -
This is a very powerful write.
-
does anyone! certainly a poem to think about closely. choices and choices, we do what we will.
and the doctor
is here - adding another layer,
don't let breath
slip this peel away.
-
Wow, this is a very powerful poem. You brought tears to my eyes. You`ve described your pain in a most vivid way and in a very bold and courageous manner when it comes to doing so. This is certainly one piece that`ll stay in my mind for a very long time. Good job!
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This is powerful and full of courage. I almost cried when I read this...yeah kinda hormonal LOL. Stay strong and God willing you can give others strength as well. Stay true to yourself and be optimistic. Excellent write here. Keep up the awesome job and I can't wait to enjoy more of your writing. Best of wishes,
~Kamilah -
11,123 comments, you are either a chatterbox or one hell of a critiquer that Imust meet and chat with. Seen your name floating around here, and I think you work with the yearbook so we will be meeting up in the near future.
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Your strength and courage is admirable. This poem breaks my heart. So many people out there succumb to this and other diseases...We never know, unless we suffer that same illness ourself, and that is one reason I never try to judge someone. You just dont know how they feel inside.
-
we meet under the moonlight
on a kewl autumn's night
we visited one another
and without a bother
congratulated on another on our writes
Edited on Apr 21, 11:11 p.m. because ''. -
this was beautiful, in a sad way...i hope you aren't either and if there is a almighty deity, he will se this plague stopped...my favorite part was...
While being a
human immune-deficiency carrier;
became a hero
in my own Greek tragedy
that was so touching...i don't recall how i met you gregg, but i am glad that i did. i will stand by you through, EVERYTHING...not run away, not a poltroon... ...
love, of course,
caity
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I can't imagine what it must be like for you.
I have no idea what the progress of drugs for prevention, stalling and treatment are at the moment but I sincerely hope they'll hold of full-blown AIDS for you for a long, long time.
Your calmness and acceptance of your fate and the volutary work you do shows such an enormous strenght of character.
Wishiong you all the best.
Kyla
-
poor
were you born with it or what and it is 17 years because i was born in 87 but ya is this supposed to make people feel bad cuz this was an ok poem ritten in free verse so ya thats all i got from it -
I too hope that I will be writing poetry 50 years from now, that will bring me close to the age of a centerian and hopefully I will have improved on a more universal level of writing poetry like the greats before me as they continued to practice with their craft
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Heart-felt. Your a fighter and it shows in your poetry. I love all your poems. I pray for you to be writting 50 years from now. You are a wonderful person and friend.
Dove -
I know how you feel. I don't want to be diognoised ith anything. I fanally realize the world doesn't work that way and i feel so alone. I hope your okay. I love this poem and I hope you won that contest.
If this is for a contest. Lol
~`(DrEaM WhIsPeRs Of HoPe)`~
Haley -
Ohhh Gregg... you have been fighting for so long, I do not want you to be diagnosed with AIDS either. And... the Lord willing, You never will be. IF the outcome, is in fact, AIDS... know this
I WILL NOT PITY YOU, I WILL NOT RENDER YOU WEAK OR INCOMPETENT, I WILL REMAIN A FRIEND, STANDING RIGHT NEXT TO YOU. Those that know even the smallest bit of you, can see there is a wonderful man standing behind the words you pen, Someone who loves and feels just as we do. Gregg, you are an inspiration to me, your strength shines through your character so boldly. I think if I was in your shoes, I'd have given up the fight, I'd hav succumbed. You, however, have not. And will not. At least.. not if I can help it. I do not feel as though I should critique this write, I dunno why.. but I just don't feel as though I should. So.. I will say this,
I admire the courage you have to keep fighting,
I admire your strength to keep shining through,
I admire the friend I have found in you.*
Keep writing... I'm loving this journey
~Aimee~
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This poem reminds me of Roger from "Rent" How he trys to deny that he's sick in the begining.. But instead of shutting yourself away you have risen like a phoenix from the ashes..
AIDS is a horrid thing and I hope and pray that you nor anyone else I know ever has to know it's horrors..
Blessed Be
Lilli
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This piece is so beautiful..I love it.. Great work!
-
My apologies about the lighting in some of them, a digital camera is not a good camera to take picture of oil paintings...my friend is coming to my show in April and hopefully we can get some better shots to put up because they are all framed now.
Edited on Apr 01, 11:59 p.m. because 'spelling (as usual), why don't they put the spell check up here for messages also'. -
Will do my dear~ ....I love to view
Appreciate YOU~ -
Hello there, hope you are still around because I want you to check out this awesome oil paintings that go with my poems that I painted. I never painted or drew at all until 2001 when I entered into rehab and now I am going full swing with it...hope you enjoy them as much as I had used it as therapy to heal...Love Gregg
http://allpoetry.com/Poem/564764
http://allpoetry.com/Poem/561596
http://allpoetry.com/Poem/550734
http://allpoetry.com/Poem/547633
http://allpoetry.com/Poem/546122
Edited on Apr 01, 11:56 p.m. because ''. -
I admire you for many reasons
YOU speak from the heart
And not pretend to be
What you are not
I admire the strength you have
Even during difficult times
And your body feeling tired
I have no reason to whine
When I don't get what I want
Or someone telling me no
I appreciate what I am blessed with
And appreciate YOU also
Big hugs and much love~Desire
YOU are one of my idols
Edited on Apr 01, 11:48 p.m. because 'I must be tired...LOL'. -
'Prejudice is a Hit Man' sounds like a poem I would really like to read. Good luck with your final. I am starting college soon. Not looking forward to those finals, but I am looking forward to learning more about computers.
~Tawnya~ -
I will get to your library soon, but since you have invested the time to stop in and read my poems, I will return the courtesy and get at least one reply in back to you, and then back to studying my for my final exam.
It has been twenty years, so I don’t think that it will be any time soon I will be giving up, I fought too long with HIV to make it this far and a two-and-a-half year battle with a hospital to get the much needed heart operation that I must have to continue to live for the next 15 years.
As for Matthew Sheppard, I know a lot about him and his demise at the hands of the murderers who accomplished nothing but show their hate and prejudice. I had a friend named Joe Rose, Jr from college and back in 1980's he was diagnosed at the same time as I was with HIV. One night, while riding a city bus home, five teenagers circled around him and stabbed him to death, not because he was HIV+ but because he was a homosexual and had died his hair pink. I will put the poem up soon in my library called 'Prejudice is a Hit Man' as soon as a contest opens up to place it. Again thanks, for stopping by and I will add you to my list on the weekend.
Pe4ce
Edited on Mar 31, 7:12 p.m. because ''. -
Like Misty, I don't want you to be diagnosed with AIDS either. But if and when it happens, do not expect an pity from me. I will be supportive, in your corner, help you fight, be your friend, whatever, but I will never pity you. You are a wonderful poet. If it does happen, NEVER give up, do you hear me? (sorry, I know I am just someone on the net at this point and you don't know me, but I would really hate to see you give up after all of your wonderful work). Sometime I will tell you about my friend, Matthew Shepard. I still cry when I think of him.
~Tawnya~ -
I'm sorry you have to deal with this and I can tell you honestly and truthfully I DO NOT WANT YOU TO BE DIAGNOSED WITH A.I.D.S. either. I do not know you, but I do care, and I will remember you in my thoughts. I hope you are able to find some happiness within yourself and please believe me when I say that I hope everything turns out for you. I've lost a few people in my life to this and well...it's not good.
I will think of you often and your health, good luck to you.
-MISTY- -
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I'm speechless...as a writer I have run out of words to say to reply to this, so I will just sit back and contemplate on these fine words that you have shared with me.
-
And sometimes we ponder
the brief mortality
the tease of a life
we have all been given
Dread the unpredictability
while stability seems a thread
that we but dangle from
a cord of hope
And the pedestal may seem
much too high some days
when weighed against
the odds of a fall
Yet we breathe and fight
for it's the nature of the beast
to be a hero and a conqueror
lest we wither unrecalled
What can i do but send a huge your way...life is short, my friend...too short and for us all...
As always, well said.
UB
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I am glad i have found your writings. I appreciate that you do not pull punches. this is the harsh reality of your life and so many others. How many are our neighbors, coworkers, friends and we do not know.. Thank you for having the courage and the determination to bring your fight out in to the open... Susan
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I sort of needed to write this one and get it out...like my 'Queering the Nation, Queering Myself', words that are needed to hear so that you get used to them. Although this is more difficult to accept because the longer I am just HIV, the closer it comes that the diagnosis will come. It is that waiting period between the two as you mentioned, so I start saying it now so it won't sting when said, but the sting will still happen. Thanks for your continued support in reading my works and leaving these profound insights into my words.
Edited on Mar 30, 11:43 because ''. -
montreal ovation
ouch gregg
i can't pretend to totally understand what it would be like to live with hiv...
from what i've read in your bio, i know it has been a long difficult path for you, and for those you care about. i can also see that you've been a strong advocate, which is something to be proud of.
what i can easily relate to is the waiting...the feeling that certain outcomes are inevitable...waiting for those words that will most likely come at some point, yet not wanting to hear. the waiting in itself can be exhausting.
i will not offer empty words of comfort...but should you ever want and/or need a soft and wide shoulder...you have but to ask.
bravo gregg, bravo
~liz
Edited on Mar 30, 9:08 because 'not fully awake'.
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