It took away my innocence,
It took away my heart,
It took away my faith,
It tore me apart.
It took away my happiness,
And left me with a hole.
It took away my pleasures,
And shredded up my soul.
It impaired my judgement,
Made my mind a cloudy haze.
It locked me in it's dugeon
For days and days and days.
It took away my freedom.
It crushed my spirit, too.
And I felt oh so helpless,
Like there was nothing I could do.
I felt I wasn't strong enough
To fight this battle hard,
I had no motivation
Needn't end up scarred.
Finally I gave up,
And It took all control,
I lost all hope
That I would ever again feel whole.
It became my life
My life became pure hell.
And I felt forever trapped,
Locked up in my cell.
I longed to cease existence,
I longed for life to end,
I was sick of faking a smile,
Too tired to pretend.
Then one day I realized,
What I didn't see,
That I did have a choice,
And the real theif here was me.
I could fight this battle,
It was I who got to choose,
But recently I had chosen just to lose.
To give up and surrender,
And let It tear me up inside.
I could've stayed and fought with It,
But I just chose to hide.
But now that I know
That I am strong enough,
I'm willing to get back up and fight,
Even if though it's tough.
I'll give it everything I've got,
And I'll win myself back.
I'm stronger than I was before,
You'll never see me crack.
I'll win this fight within myself.
I'll finally find the key.
I know that I have power now,
So a theif I'll never be.
Author notes
I wrote this about my battle with Social Anxiety Disorder and depression. (Mostly my Social Anxiety Disorder, as it kind of plays into the depression quite a lot, and makes it worse.)
Lately, I had really given up all hope and I wasn't TRYING to get better or help myself, just kind of hiding. And I was always whining to myself about how I wanted to be normal, and how it wasn't fair that my illness had taken so much away from me. And now I kind of realize, that if I'm not trying to get better, I'm really the only one to blame for this. So in a way, I kind of stole my own happiness, by not fighting this battle. I was always blaming my Social Anxiety Disorder which isn't a living thing capable of such action, it is only a part of me. And that kind of makes me the real theif.
A contest entry
- Prewrites, Im crazy. by Menna.
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• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ANYTHING by Dryad Enya.
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The past few months I've had major writer's block, and lost my mojo. Do you think I got my mojo back, or does this poem just suck?
Comments
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Beloved authority whirled in dusty membrains, the currnet swept cleanly around my nares before the slinking form riddled before my vision. She came slithering, her serpent form dominant in build yet she remained sleek, her muzzle bushy, silver lobes to match her lean and graceful specturm. With every slipper placed the mountain leopard shone from her dominace. She was majestic even in death. Kissers lolled at the sight for petty moments, it was a pleasure to see her again. And after so many years. The wolves' firce amber flints had become wary and attentive as they flickered like lights in the darkness. since the ancient Dacian empire had fallen into decline, the land of Transylvania had been invaded and fought over by a seemlingly infinte variety of tailless both ebonite and ivory. The normands had come and after them the succeeding tides of normandic conflict. The land beyond the forest was still bitterly disputed by the Magyars from the kingdom of Hungary, by the Saxons from the German lands and by the Vlachs who owed their alliance to none. Sarrin seemed to look directly through me as she approched, her silver armour moved with silent grace as she drew to a hault before me. her crown dipped in greeting. Remaining still. "And Cote?" lyri begin with no greeting to her, the reply must be emediate. "She is, occupied. The male's family remained close to the shores. Closer than even we predicted" her jowls moce slowly, the infomation coming with an ancient element of superstition. "Then we must be quick.flank pushes against her, it felt good to be reunited with Sarrin. Now, time to join with our last sister...
This is part of a story i wrote when i felt lost, after my sister died I felt i'd lost everything. But I had to fight that thought away, I had to remember the promises I had made to keep going, to win my own battle. I wasn't as strong as you were, I needed some one else to point this out to me, for you to work it out on your own is incredable. Well done indeed. Best of luck and I hope you are okay now.
Keep writting
Gorecki
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