Love...
Does Love feel this way?
Does "Love" rule one day,
Only flee the next?
Love...
It has become a mockery,
And it now bleeds out my chest,
A cataract bleeding at a bitter jest.
Love...
It comes without rhyme or reason,
And it goes without the same,
And, soon, I hope it dies:
All my love, all my pain.
Is it so fragile that it
Ends the moment a jackal
Cries "wolf"?
The irony runs deep
In this hour when love dies
And dragons lay down,
Lose their flame, and cry.
Betrayed by those trusted,
Stricken by the grief forsaken,
Twisted by those entrusted
To guard the garden from death.
In this day when jackals
Strike down dragons,
Do angels weep for the dead?
Will, instead, succubi pounce
Upon the body,
And feast upon the soul
Festering inside?
Author notes
I have been trying to write out my feelings for awhile now, to no real avail. I've tried writing stories, freeverse poems, journals, and everything else. I feel like my muse has left me, that my heart has left me.
Indeed, I thought I would recover from Meaghan leaving me, but I come right back to it, again and again. It's an impenetrable wall that I am trying now to go around, but I just find it increasingly difficult to press on. I am trying to express this, though I know I am failing, and I am trying to express all that happened, and I know I fail at that too.
What this poem only says is that generic part of the story, the love promised forever that is now gone.
Really, I need help resurrecting my inspiration. Right now, I feel like I have nothing. I need help writing, I really do.
This has been nothing but a pure piece of undistilled crap, and I know that.
Please, any suggestions, any comments, any advice - on anything - would be appreciated. Feel free to be a smart-ass as well. Anything to break me out of this tedium.
Say anything you want.
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
-
There are so many thing I COULD say. So few of them would matter to you, I doubt you will even listen.
This is a beautiful poem, it brought tears to my eyes when I read it. I don't think you've lost any of your writeing ability, and as always I think you're being too hard on yourself about it.
This IS beautiful. It IS good. It is FAR from crap and you should be proud of it.
-
Wow. excellent job on this poem. I'm sorry to hear about your break up. Poetry can be a great release...I know how it feels, but life goes on and if I didn't let it then I wouldn't have met the girl I am currently dating. Sometimes these things happen but you can't let it get you down. I'm sure you will find someone else who will not break your heart.
-Steve-
-
-
Thank you for the comments, the claps, and the sympathy. I'm happy for you, my good Knight of Shadows
, and I hope that you remain happy with the girl you are currently dating.
As for someone else... I can only hope and wait. Only time can tell.
-
-
apparantly i like crap
haha, seems alright to me. on the fourth line of the 1st stanza I'd put 'only to flee the next' & the catarct bleeding line sounds strange to me. As does the 'grief forsaken' and I don't like the use of the word twisted so much. But overall it seems to paint a good picture of how you feel, from my standpoint anyway. i don't know if it's "good poetry," but I like it. And a personal comment on the last stanza.. you don't need to build up any more walls than there already are. it'll be okay! -
-
Thank you for catching the error on that fourth line. The cataract, however, is referring to a waterfall (one of the various meanings of the word) rather than the part of the eye that people often refer to when speaking of blindness. "Grief forsaken" refers to the fact that I went to her with my pain and my problems, and she just didn't care anymore. This apathy resulted in my "grief" being "forsaken".
But I think some wall building would do some good at this point. Opening myself up to her only led to pain, and to continue to do so would just be foolish; and Matt has shown me that I certainly can't trust everyone - not even people I have known since Kindergarden (for that is when we met) - due to his betrayal. So, no, I'm not going to be open as I was before. But that by no means translates into me being closed.
But thank you for your concern Melissa, truly.
-
-
I really enjoyed this!
Thanks for sharing! Have a good day (:
x -
-
Just so you know, I don't really appreciate the fact that you just left a short comment in order to just get your comment count high for the day (which I know that's why you did it because I checked). Truthfully, I have a doubt as to whether you even read the poem.
So, if you're gonna post a comment, please let it be a bit more thoughtful. Please?
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 7 of 7
