this grief is not a silence.
it is an absence of sound.
it hides beyond airless - in the humidity of noise
encasing each pause,
beyond everywhere bound inside, where stillness
becomes a schism
and the mud and stagnant water
falls fresh from thin-pressed lips
in the sanctity
of finding things to do
there is no body, nothing to mourn
but the loss
Author notes
Edits: 3
Inspired by: "in the still thick venom of malignant air
we are capillary in the lung of summer" -
From: http://allpoetry.com/poem/5593047
A contest entry
- Quote Inspired #3 by Danny Beatty.
3000 points, ended August 20, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think (Critical Honesty Appreciated)
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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The first word that popped into my head on reaction 'dainty'. I am not too sure why. You have a soft voice here, still effective but the mood is like a caressing hand over wound. Lamenting lifeless but breathing. You work wonders with words.


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"this grief is not a silence.
it is an absence of sound."
love this...i love the whole poem but those lines really speak to me...


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Really glad to have you around these parts again, Kate. Yes, I often sense the difference between silence and the absence of sound. One has more depth than the other - pierces to the bone.
I agree wholly with Wanda: those ending lines are like a small explosion that hangs in the air and lingers.
Great work


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Gosh this was wonderful. I honestly have never read something of yours I didn't like.


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I understand, too well, your first two lines. Indeed, there is no deeper silence than grief...its quiet sounds pervade and resonate with every slow beat of our hearts. No one else can hear them, of course, nor would they understand them if they could. Your ending lines are stunning in their depths and profundity, as well. It took me many long, unkind years to finally learn that we cannot really lose what we have already gained, but there is no comfort when that cruel moment arrives, is there? So many people will attempt to offer you sympathy at this time, yet they cannot seem to understand that the best thing, the only thing they can offer, is silence, with your hand held loosely. Tightly would only increase the sorrow. A grand penning, my Friend. Good luck in Danny's contest, Scribe.




1 - 5 of 5





