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this drink

can feel a blind man’s memories
as if
he were kissing the reflection
believed to bring
          ease to wallowed thoughts.

 

silently praying in faithless pews
there are
outstretched arms throwing stones
at passing cars to

crack truth’s windshield and
blur
with a web
the blind man’s untainted image.

 

H.L. Peterson (August 2009)

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • Snowing Kisses gold member
    August 29

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    this is a deliciosly good write i love the second verse it has such tangiable imagery pints emoion not jut pics im nna bm ifya dnt mind
    thanks
    t`


  • sweet arrival gold member
    August 20

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    wonderful use of extended metaphor. and isn't it funny how a blind man's image is always left untainted... probably why there are so many people walking around in shades~ we all can look good to ourselves while throwing stones at those cars


  • Catie Sheeran gold member
    August 11
    Edit | Reply
    wow...amazing metaphor

    awesome write...this is good!


  • Edie gold member
    August 10

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    outstretched arms throwing stones
    at passing cars to

    crack truth’s windshield and
    blur
    with a web
    the blind man’s untainted image."

    the religion stuff we all see... but these lines are strong to me...maybe its because Ive seen rocks thrown at a car during a village's prayer hour...

    • A Prophet of 3 gold member
      August 10
      Edit | Reply
      i have a great respect for all religions, my words may mock, but most times are meant to comfort those who embrace "God's" most amazing gift bestowed upon us personally by him ... the abilty to reason, question, and (as a priest once told me) drink water, not from a chalice, but from your own naked hands ...

      thank you for your comment, i mean that in honest sincerity ...

      *cheers*


  • Matt E. Smith gold member
    August 10

    Edit | Reply
    what i like most about your poetry is that the more I read the same poem, the more I pick up and it is good enough that it makes me want to keep reading/discovering stuff inside the poem. no different here... i like the line 'silently praying in faithless pews' - as i am a big fan of religious metaphor. another solid poem...cheers to this drink


  • Grunts Girl silver member
    August 10

    Edit | Reply
    i like how you set 'as if' alone.
    you have a way with word placement that makes even more of an impact than the words themselves

    • A Prophet of 3 gold member
      August 10
      Edit | Reply
      in free verse poetry (taught to me by those who have come before me) line breaking to accent power words is what makes the poem dance ... i am not a master at it, never will be, and don't care to be ... i have said this very thing to many poets on this board, teaching them, helping them, showing them how to make me weep (and some of them have) ...

      i am nothing, but a mere writer (never a poet) ... and want to thank you for your own honest words ...


  • Night Hope gold member
    August 10

    Edit | Reply

    Alcohol never brought any clarity to anything, in my experience. In fact, just the opposite effect took hold: a web of lies woven in muddied liquid, where truth could never be nurtured or sustained. Even a blind man could discern its destined effects, methinks. A cracked windshield will only hold its weight temporarily; eventually, fierce winds and gravity will push through, covering us with shattered remnants. Good luck in the contest, my Friend.

1 - 9 of 9