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Lost (Tanka)






lost in my minds’ eye
looking for a way to feel
what did I expect?

giving myself to the bone
I’m just not here anymore






Author notes

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Remember we spoke of tanka and how they must have nature in the first three lines? Remember how I said that it does not have to be so? I will show you how I came to that conclusion. This is from a book that features Basho, Buson, & Issa three of the great masters of the Japanese classical era. I will be dealing with Buson in this little info lesson.

Long, Long Ago: The classical tanka form, which was felt to be more dignified than the haiku.

What fallows is a tanka (my favorite) by Buson.



Long, long ago
My mother’s tender care—
I think of it eagerly,

Held close to her breast—
That was another kind of springtime.



Just for your personal experience. I will copy this in.

Japanese scholars are fond of contrasting Basho, and Buson: Basho the seeker, Buson the artist; Basho the subjective poet, Buson the objective poet; Basho the ascetic writer, Buson the worldly painter. These comparisons are comparatively resent.
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Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • Draig aine gold member
    September 13

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    subtle

    finely crafted, reads perfectly in both directions from the pivot line. I am interested in the concept of the first three line being a haiku and the last two adding emotion. In many of the old Tankas that I have read, the first three lines establish where and when the last two lines plus the pivot can be read as part of the whole or seperatly, your piece does that beaiully.
    I guess that is your referenceto the nature in the fisrt three line, I have seen many that do not have a haiku as the begining stanza. and I have gotten slamed for it not by Azure whose class was a grand introdution but I feel I have just scraped the surface, sorry for the ramble

    Annie


  • rollingzen
    August 11
    Edit | Reply
    subtle yet powerful


  • masked-monster
    August 11

    Edit | Reply
    This was a good write, I can relate to it completley! thanks for sharing, I enjoyed reading it...short sweet and to the point, i like that, leaves the rest to the readers imagination!

  • sarabobs-83
    August 11
    Edit | Reply
    So very simple yet so very apt, i'm loving this piece,


  • Wickedruby1 gold member
    August 10

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    Great

    I love this one, it tells a story in what it does not say. I have instructions in a lot of styles but not the courage to try them. condencing my words is more difficult than writing a novel.


  • Night Hope gold member
    August 10

    Edit | Reply
    Ahhh, you're not lost, Cowboy. You're right here. Right there, in the woods you love so much, with the horses you adore and journey with. Surrounded by friends and admirers, both here and there.




    • SirPort
      August 11

      Edit | Reply

      Presence

      Lady Wanda how good of you to be so kind in your comment. Not only that, I thinks it may be so in your life~ kindly so.
      True, I am blessed to be on this hill, looking down on my field through the trees. Gives one pause. As you know of which I speak, understanding is yours. And I get to ride horses in the bargain (smile).
      This one tells a tale of searching (what do you know?) for that which we all search, self-awareness, to know our presence and, place, in the poetic halls and chambers life offers us; I need time to reflect, so in sarcasm I say, “what did you expect?”
      Again, thank you.

1 - 8 of 8