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Just another day



I see--
Thoughts sculptured into doodles
Like sticky lollipops,
They bind with white paper


I hear--
A girl’s broken story
Repeating itself in my hollow head
Disrupted by the silence outside


I smell--
Stale air filled with bits of regret
Sitting between forsaken memories

[Maybe a smile;
A twitch at the corner of my lips
Would’ve perfected her life
But I guess I’ll never know now]


I taste--
Everything I should’ve said
But waited for purple skies to fade
Hoping it would mean much more then


I feel--
Like there’s no tomorrow
But reality’s been proving me wrong
Everyday


A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 13 of 13
  • PhoenixFiress
    September 20

    Edit | Reply
    Fantastic, extremely heartfelt and poignant poem, the last stanza in particular is excellent, once again aweshome =]


  • Mr.
    September 19
    Edit | Reply
    Hey, I didn't see this until today. I REALLY liked it, and the last line was excellent.


  • charcoal
    September 19
    Edit | Reply
    that last stanza... brilliant


  • Blue-Rose Beauty gold member
    September 4
    Edit | Reply
    This is a beautiful write, thanks for entering.


  • Enrinye
    August 23

    Edit | Reply
    this is very well penned, you managed to describe such a range of emotions in so few lines, from regret, pain, sadness to a desperate conclusion...

    ''I hear--
    A girl’s broken story
    Repeating itself in my hollow head
    Disrupted by the silence outside''

    ''I taste--
    Everything I should’ve said''

    ''I feel--
    Like there’s no tomorrow
    But reality’s been proving me wrong
    Everyday''

    these parts were just amazing...especially the last paragraph, I can absolutely relate to that feeling, it could've been lines from a poem of mine

    take care
    Suza

  • deathwillcome
    August 20

    Edit | Reply
    great poem its amazing,,, as usual,,, keep it up, cant wait to catch up again,,, its been way too long,,, talk to you soon great poem

  • Dan55
    August 18
    Edit | Reply
    Wonderful, another winner.


  • Josh the Communist
    August 14
    Edit | Reply

    Wonderful

    Sorry I didn't comment sooner; I love it.


  • your.guardian.angel
    August 12

    Edit | Reply
    WOW
    Loved it!

    These lines: [Maybe a smile;
    A twitch at the corner of my lips
    Would’ve perfected her life
    But I guess I’ll never know now]

    They absolutely captured my heart
    Keep up your beautiful writingg! : )

  • Mr.
    August 11

    Edit | Reply
    That's funny, I thought I already commented this, but something must have happened because my comment didn't show up on the page.

    I really liked it. You're really talented - I always look forward to your poems. Keep it up.


  • checkmate
    August 10

    Edit | Reply
    woah man.

    I taste--
    Everything I should’ve said
    But waited for purple skies to fade

    that's pure gold. your writing is AWESOMENESS. love the beginning like crazeee.

    i will write more for you and comment to which i havent done in ages but now i hava rush to school...and see you. oh.

    see ya in an hour!


  • GotLilt
    August 10
    Edit | Reply
    This is the best yet!


  • AbidoodleCullen
    August 10
    Edit | Reply
    Wonderful!
    Thanks for entering and good luck!
    ~Abi

1 - 13 of 13