Linger

As the smoke screen rises
Everything changes
All of my surroundings
Fade into a blur
The white line is drawn
To the path of no return
Suddenly it turns to
A life and death situation
But do I chance it
To change back to the way it was
When my past begins to linger
I am only a woman
Trying to buy my stairway
To reach that final point
Of my last destination
But when I reach the last wrung
Will that gateway open for me
Will I cross the threshold
In my home in heaven
Are all the stores closed
Will they open the door for me
I have my final payment
Even if it costs my soul
Oh, my God are you listening
All I want is my stairway
No longer do I want to linger here
No longer do I want to be self destructive
I'm tired of telling lies
To make life such harder
Where can I purchase a stairway to heaven?