a mothers word.

I'm seating her upon my bed
thinking up thoughts
of cotton candy and dead fireflys

I'm laying here
a cold sweat draining down my neck
sending chills up my spine

I pretend so well
even your mother couldnt tell
that my insides are empty

I'm against this wall
staring at this crib
a baby resting so quietly

laughing and mumbling to myself
he is mine, my creation
my destruction, my son

My heart it weaps
of the past, the future
it burns
full of jealousy
full of lust

I'm standing here
a note pressed to my chest
xoxo signed at the bottom

Your growing older
standing taller then me
I look up to see you call my name
Mom? you say in question

I swollow this guilt
whispering yes
Your strare goes blank
my heart starts raceing

I hand you this note
I wrote
before i gave you away
taken it you hike away

I'm nealing here
upon this ground
forgiveness is what i ask
I love you...
i do