Did you ever listen to the sound of lonely trains?
One of them passed by here at quarter after 10.
The conductor pulled the cord and then
a lonely whistle blew.
It filled the air with sadness,
doom and haunting gloom.
If you stopped to listen,
You could feel it’s hurt and pain,
But only for a moment - it won’t pass this way again.
O Death, you may come speedily
Like the lonely train,
But only for a fleeting, you know you must not stay.
For the train is headed heavenward, the loneliness is gone,
No more pain and sorrow,
Her train is homeward bound.
“O death, where is thy sting; o grave
Where is thy victory?”
Author notes
Option 3: the death of someone close to me - my mother
A contest entry
- Pick a Theme! by Babesface.
400 points, ended September 2, 35 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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This is amazing!! You are the first person to use an extended metaphor out of all entries so far! So well done on that!
I love the comparison! The way you've compared death to a train is really good! I particularly love the line:
"But only for a moment - it won't pass this way again."
I really enjoyed how you've made it very clear that it's a one-way journey and there is no turning back.
The emotion is so strong in this piece. It's particularly strong in the third stanza where, I personally think, you've made it that bit more personal.
"Her train is homeward bound"
I was wondering though, who's quote is that at the end? I really like it and it really adds to your poem.
Thanks for entering and best of luck in the contest
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