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The road all must travel

The path lay cobbled before me
and the trees kneel with time,
as their outstretched hands touch the earth

with fingers the weep for all that pass through their forest.

 

A feeling of dread comes over me

as I wait for my host.

The dead leaves around my feet stir with desire,

but no wind can be felt,

not a breaze,

nor a chill,

no breath of life can be felt in the air.

 

A sound is introduced,

a clattering sound,

hooves...

hooves on a cobbled path.

And then I saw...

A pale horse

with a lightning coat.

And on this horse,

this pale creature

He sat in aw...

 

He whispers my name

with a face that doesnt move,

with eyes as blue as saphires,

and a smile that could end life.

 

"Are you ready?" he asks in a cold voice

I cannot find the courage

nor the words to speak,

so I nod and hope he doesn't understand.

 

"Verry well" he says again in that icy voice of his.

Thoughts in my head grabbed life

and formed words of their own free will;

"Then let us make haste!" I said so quickly,

the words falling out of my mouth and unto the cold earth,

"Why? he asked

"Time for us is endless."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Nothing that lives lingers in this place

 

 

 

Author notes

I'm not to happy about this one, any comments would be greatly appreciative so that I can improve this piece.

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    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments


  • Yah-rod
    August 10

    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful images created. I liked "and the trees kneel with time," as well as the sense of silence you instill.

    It tells a story, and at the end I appreciated everything about the piece as it led to the twist.

    All pieces can be improved, but first I'd change "with fingers the weep..." to "with fingers that weep..." The line would read nice as: "with fingers that weep for all who pass through their forest."

    The next stanza is fine except "breaze" should be "breeze".

    The third has a lovely rhythm..."introduced" could almost be "induced"

    "He whispers my name
    With unmoving face,
    His eyes - like sapphires
    With a smile to slay."

    The conclusion could come from a story, but the way you express the idea "thoughts in my head grabbed life" makes it a mysterious image.
    I loved the way you ended it.

    All in all I enjoyed reading it, and I think you have a talent for ideas. Will look forward to reading more of yours in future. Cheers