The tears pour from my eyes
Like the water from Niagara Falls
Pours into the massive oblivion below it
It’s time again.
As I gently pull the razor from it’s box
I look at my reflection
What a distorted and fucked up monster
Love is a rare and beautiful element
And looking at me
I’ll NEVER have it
I press the razor to my skin
The chill excites my body
Intoxicatingly thrills my mind
I want to carve until there’s nothing left
Relief from this stress
I'm a sugarcoated zombie
The beast of a pathological liar
A question of purple mattress daggers and heaven's acidic poisons
Barbed wire clottings and idolarty hauntings blessed me with this addiction
As the blood trickles slowly down my arm
Showing the legends of the morphine enduced monsters
Lingering in a silencing sin so selflessly given to me through a void of spinal ecstacy
A blister of fiber optic ends.
Pulsing cries of a blood stained lullaby
Screaming for the danger that breeds between my non existance.
Suffocating who I always wanted to be between who I was and who I am.
Angels praying for me.
Monsters calling to me.
Engraving in my fate
All the thousands of horrors that filled my day
The question is my answer..
I think of the ones I love
There I go hurting them again
A dated myth existing through a lie I told to free the souls of the damned
But isn't this why I do it....
To run from the destiny I versed in regret for only allowing myself to love a hatred I stole from the beasts I created.
My beauty is my disaster
And that's why you cant look away.....
But.....
running form what you've done
Doesnt change the fact that you did it
Betraying myself in search for a shelter behind any affection.
In unison with the tempermentals
In apology for the pain I cause them
I did this so they wouldn’t get hurt
And there I go taking the simplest of things and complicating it like I was finding the cure for cancer.
Yeah maybe this is selfish
But did you ever wonder what got me to this point
How you say it’s paining you
It’s AMAZING how you can take something of mine
And make it ALL ABOUT YOU!
It always did have to be about you...
Once I'm done the disease that is my being is free
producing a serated secret
The virus of your life.
It’s gone
Locked away
Until someone or something
Triggers a memory
And then it’s back to the drawing board
It’s a vicious cycle
But this way I don’t have to face it
I don’t have to deal with it
I don’t have to hurt the people I love
I don’t have to talk about it
Or hear about it
And the worst is over
Because talking about it means acknowledging that it exists
And dealing with it
And I’d rather die a thousand deaths than relieve all that shit
It’s my life
My blood
My Choice
Author notes
You tell me............... >.>
What did you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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Your Amazing Sissy
wow your just wow this is sad and makes me hurt
i love this poem and i can only wonder about what made you write this
your amazing
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Holy butt fuck. O.O this is.. simply blood freezingly, epically, painfully undescribeable... I mean I got so cold reading this I could feel the knife....... You have officially earned my respect til the end of my sorry life. -shivers-
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Aww! :'(
Thank you, yet again, Sissy. I'm glad you enjoyed it. I'm sorry if you can relate. I tried. D:!!!! And, your life isn't sorry sissy!! You've only just begun your journey of greatness. -
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PFFT
Ha..no. You have so much to your life I just think you don't realize it. I've screwed up too much. I've turned all friends against me for the one I love. And you know what? It was worth it. But the feeling to want to kill Emily grows more everyday...
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A.M.A.Z.I.N.G!!!!
WOW THIS IS SOMETHING
FOR SOME REASON THR SHOULD BE LIKE A PART 2 OR WATEVER THIS WAS ABZOLUTLEY OUTSTANDING!!!
KEEP UP DA GEWD WORK!!!!
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Thank You.
I appreciate that. Thank you for the generous compliment. I tried. :3. I shall consider writing a part two. God knows I'm struggling with it now. I might. Thank you for the idea. :3. I shall try.
!
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Rina.
I really think you should show this one to Kristi.
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Your talent confounds mine times 50. I am in love with the way your words can paint a myriad of scenes that my mind can become lost in. I am now inspired to write better and my muse has been ignited. Thank you for your talent. This is why you are one of my favorites.
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AWWWWWWWW!!! Thank you!!!
I'm so glad I can inspire you, and that you can so relate and feel my work. I write in those hopes and you don't know how much it means to hear you say it does those things for you. I try, and we are equal talents. You're a damn good writer and amaze me as well.
! You're welcome though!!
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this was honestly amazing. left me speechless as well. you put alot of emotion into this, very raw and very painful to read. hope things get better for you. if not im always here if you need to talk :] stunningly beautiful write
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Thank You Very Much!
I'm glad you liked it!!!! It was a tough write, and it feels good to get it out there. I'm sorry if you can relate and don't forget I'm always here if you need someone as welll *hugs&
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speachless...
i'm absolutely speachless
it's very beatiful -
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Thank You Very Much!
I appreciate you taking the time to read it and comment.
! I'm glad you enjoyed it. I tried!
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