"What's decayed upon your soul sir?
In it, what's lifes true calling?
Or is this man who scams you to eager?"
Deceptively with skill he steals your flow,
Mindgames like placibo pills, he tricks you ill.
" My dear friend, Bitter realities dark depths will someday shine,and the sweet truth shall set you free, but only in this light
will your blistering soul ever come to terms with ones true reality."
" For let faiths rain wash upon your burning layers, and only then will
gods glory become your own."
- Readers and Writers group list • next in list
A contest entry
- The Phobic Rounds [auditions] by Kiss the girl--x.
400 points, ended October 29, 46 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
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Ap name in AN? And is this your fw? What fear is it about?
I like your diction, and think this has potential but right now its clouded with alot of words that don't really have meaning here, because there's not a lot of emotion. You need a balance between emotion and diction to make it strong.
I"m going to say no, for now, but if you edit or anything, message me, I'll reread.
Writingfree -
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thank you for the constructive critiscms Does fw? mean first write? if so then no but i would love to talk to you more about this poem and maybe about my emotions maybe if you have any pointers and wouldn't mind helping me out. I like to think of myself as an ok poet and would love to learn more.
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Wow, this is SO poweful, the last line just made my jaw drop so amazingly well written! You have talent! Keep writing
x
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