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My biggest regret

I cant believe im finally spitting you out here on paper
its been so long im used to you plaguing my mind my thoughts
I cannot believe that im telling the world about you when you have festered in soliutary confinement inside my mind
its not been easy taking the leap towards finally exorsizing you from my consience
but nevertheless here goes.......................

What if I had been mature enough to see how important you loving me was?
What if I had said "Yes" and become joined to you as one?
Would you have looked for a house share?
Would you have moved from your flat?
What if I hadn't spent all your money?
You could have paid a few months more rent with that.
Maybe even Aprils payment
You wouldn't have been there then would you?
Worrying about the health of a practical stranger
Your landlord yes but you hardly knew him
But that was you, always worrying about some one else
What if I had been there to worry about you?
What if we hadn't had that fight?
What if you had been with me instead
On that god forsaken night
Had I said I loved you back, we could have moved to devon
Ok it wasn't my first choice but to you that place was heaven.
I could have took you far away from all that awful danger
And you wouldn't have been stabbed to death by that god forsaken stranger

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • Lencio Rodrigues
    September 22

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    Oh God, this is a very haunting write, first as you read it, it seems as though you are really spitting the one you loved on paper, until the end comes so tragic and sad. I am sorry for your loss. This is so sad and full of emotion, naturally, this has come from the heart. Thanks for sharing your pain, and I pray you do find peace soon.

    Love and light
    Lencio


  • Gypsy Via Orleans
    August 16

    Edit | Reply
    This is beautifully haunting piece. I say haunting because until I got to your last lines,
    I thought all of your what ifs wee leading to a breakup. There was nothing you could have done to change destiny. I believe it is good that you can put this on paper. It often helps in the healing process. I'm deeply sorry for your loss.

  • Yemassee gold member
    August 16

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    You know the saying, "Hindsight is 20/20." There are always so many "what ifs" when things go wrong. You have them, I have them, I'm sure everyone has them. I would never say we should ignore than, just maybe to cut us some slack. For things happen they way they do...learn from it and move on.

    But yes, there are a lot of questions there that can never be answered, we have to let it go.


  • briareus gold member
    August 12

    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for sharing these reflections & unfolding of events, with clear & straightforward telling that builds to revealing & impact of the last line.


  • My Chronos gold member
    August 9
    Edit | Reply
    I'm so sorry for your loss.


  • Toxic Angel
    August 8

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    I guess we all regret things when someone we love passes on,but i know that person will love you no matter what and thats what we have to cherish and remember. Beautiful piece.

1 - 6 of 6