Alabaster skin
so sinister and seductive
but the cancer lies within
so malevolent and destructive
stalking those at night
a homicidal mentality
cringing, too weak to fight
nightmares become reality
caustic and corrosive
a thief of innocence
a cannibal, erosive
twilight truths become too intense
dread becomes grime
covered in fear
each and every time
I gaze into the mirror
Author notes
Word Bank:
Alabaster
Sinister
Seductive
Cancer
Malevolent
Destructive
Homicidal
Mentality
Cringe
Nightmare
Caustic
Innocence
Cannibal
Dread
A contest entry
- Dark Wordbank by Miss Macabre.
550 points, ended August 11, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
Good work
getting much of the wordbank into a short write. Well done poet.
-
Well done! You not only managed the word bank, you superceded it. Your rhyming ability is excellent. Love the last line, it gives your poem an emotional punch. Best wishes.


-
This has perfect flow, you used these words so clever. It was so fun to read! And it seems so sinister.
to weak to fight > too weak to fight
Some suggestions, the only part where flow is shaky and rhyme is off is the last four lines.
morosive isn't a word. If you need help rhyming with corrosive all I can think of is explosive.
dread becomes mine
living in fear
each and every time
I gaze into the mirror
This could be changed some.
Dread becomes grime,
I'm covered in fear,
each and every time,
I gaze into the mirror.
You don't have to use that example, just an example of some changes that could be done. Mine and time don't really rhyme, and aren't true to the theme you've come up with. But there's always slime, grime, crime...or if you're going vice versa:
Dread becomes mine,
living in fear,
shivers course up my spine,
when I gaze in the mirror.
Those are just some general ideas, but this is a great poem really. The last stanza is the only rocky part the rest is genius! Makes me want to write a wordbank using my own words, lol. Thanks for entering and good luck to you.


