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They are scared for me.
     
      You see,
They are scared to see
What I've grown to be.

"She's changed" They say

"Always by herself" They say

"Hey, did you notice that
EVERYTIME there is a crowd
Of people, she goes lurking
Through the shadows"

Has it ever occured to your
Infintile brain that I'm
Terrified of large place
And physically ill when there
Are too many faces.

Why should you be scared for me?
You don't even really KNOW me.
Maybe who I was before has
only ever been a lie under desguise.
My protection against rejection.

I used to coach myself in the mirror.
I'd say "laugh at their joke Syki"
then maybe, they won't pick on you today.
"You have to be pretty or else you'll
never be fancied, forget about liked.

Fortunately,I have stopped participating
in my own warped delusions. Instead, I speak
The truth just the way I see it.

Their jokes aren't funny
So I stopped laughing

I have looked in a mirror and i know
that my face is one that only a mother could love.
But I am fine with my looks since I can't change them

Maybe you should be scared for me.
              I am.

I miss the sting of reality
Flushing all my inadeqacies away.
Away through the pretty veins
that cross a formally sculpted piece.
Thick beads of blood seeps through,
building the most exquisite crimson
waterful touched by a lonely sunset.

Pain, Grief, disgust, hate, love and confusion
Trying to bleed their escape forever.

But alas, it's not meant to be.
I need those emotions,
For without them I am but a shell.
I am not ready to put you in a coffin,
To bury you six feet under, just to be alone.

Be scared for me
For today may be the last.
My body's getting tired and
I;m scaring myself.

Blood, Hate, Bitterness.

Blood, hate Bitterness.

When I close my eyes
I see crimson rivers.
My blood is an arctic chill.
I am dead inside.

And I'm scared for myself.

Help me...
 
  Help me...
       
        Help Me...

Or Will you remain complacent
By the fact that you KNOW
Something's wrong with me
Yet leave me scared by myself
To bare all on my own.