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A Feather On An Angel

Listening to you breathe
softly and delicate
as a feather on an angel;
I think to myself
I have been granted passage
into heaven

with you, my love...

I wonder if you are
dreaming of me,
at this moment,
as I did of you,
the entire evening before.
What right do I have
for you loving me,
as you do.
How have I earned it ?

deserve it...

Never awake, my darling,
allow this moment to freeze,
to suspend itself
from becoming another scene
in my life,
for I fear if you are aroused
from  your sleep,
you will one day witness
the vacant portion of me
shielded from you
to this moment

my greatest fear...


















Author notes

Someone special in my life

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Comments

1 - 37 of 37

  • fallendust
    October 29

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    I can see this person is very special! This is a very beautiful, sensual write and I loved every part. Especially the part where you talk about freezing the moment!!!!


    • John BoSox
      October 29
      Edit | Reply
      You are so kind..I look forward to reading more of your wonderful poems..You have true talent

      John


  • passionatejoy
    October 23

    Edit | Reply

    Intoxicating

    A rare piece, truly elegant my dear. This poem was almost transcendent for me, it really enabled me to see what it truly means to love another being, the profound divinity and blessed unity which is found only in love, but it also depicts the fear, the fear that we may not be all the other needs or desires, that in itself makes the poem all the more realistic in its reference to life and the trials of love.

    Excellent work. Words from your soul intoxicate me! Much love Joy


    • John BoSox
      October 23
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for stopping by..Your comments are priceless

      John

  • Synchronicity gold member
    October 13

    Edit | Reply

    Suspense in life

    A great high moment and a great low moment, lying aside each other in this poem remind of the delicate balance in life. Between the divine and the feared, we often linger "to suspend... from becoming another scene" . This poem describes such moments, and the path we must tread so lightly.


  • smitaanand
    October 10

    Edit | Reply
    Lovely word sringed on the silken cords of beautiful sentiment that make one crave romance as much as dark chocolate pastries .Gosh your imagination has depths I could never reach thanks for sharing and take care...

  • Vacancy can be a good thing. I'm a bit of a proponent of all things in moderation.....but there are some things I just get.....hung up on.....

    Here's to the fear dissipating soon.....

    Love & Blessings,

    ~ ~ Janet ~


  • SteveandSon gold member
    October 7

    Edit | Reply
    This was a superb poem with such beauty to it. It held me from beginning to end with wondering if she would wake up or not. I lost my wife a few months back and I wish I could go back and be beside her and wish for that moment to last forever. A great wish you had here.
    Steve


  • Night Hope gold member
    September 16

    Edit | Reply

    There is nothing quite as precious than watching over the one you adore, I think. There is such a quiet serenity in doing so, in guarding over their dreams as they relax in your presence. For to be able to sleep at all around someone else implies trust, in the utmost. Well done, Poet.


  • Sable May
    September 2

    Edit | Reply
    aww the essence of true love is painted so sweetly. The fact that you question why you are bless with the love back brings a even softer side to the poem. Very refreshing.


  • Vickie Rosa
    August 30

    Edit | Reply

    Wow wonderful piece

    I loved this very much I love all the stanzas so beautiful and elegant along with romantic. We all fear we are never good enough for the one we love and you expressed this so beautifuly. Even the tittle is wonderful. You should be getting your poems published they are amazing. You must be amazing. Much peace and love to you.


  • Rose Angel gold member
    August 20

    Edit | Reply
    Frozen in time...a beautiful moment captured with your pen...Creatively beautiful!


  • just2write silver member
    August 18

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    Love, fragile and full

    Yet hoping so much. This poem is like watching the tenderest moments in a beautiful love scene. One watching another sleep and hoping that they are in their darlings dreams. Oh, what a beautiful thought that is. You captured this moment perfectly. Loved the line:
    Listening to you breathe
    softly and delicate
    as a feather on an angel;

    This is such a beautiful descriptor, and so very original. Excellent work here. Rose.


  • Aelten
    August 14

    Edit | Reply
    This is so lovely, to suspend a moment and the fear a loved one might discover some barren part... so human and romantic
    I really enjoyed this!
    A~

  • amysticwriter silver member
    August 14
    Edit | Reply
    wow!...mystic


  • awannabepoet
    August 10

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    This is awesome, I really like the idea of how we loom so large in our own world and fear often overcomes us.

    You have a wonderfull way of expressing emotions and keeping it on message with a delicate pen.

    I like it , I like it so!

  • I imagine millions of people could relate to this poem as fear is one of the largest obstacles that keep people from entering into relationships.

    I stumbled a bit on that last stanza there at the closing... 'shielded from you to this moment' I am not sure that "from you to this moment" is grammatically correct and I struggle to make sense of it since she is asleep... what exactly are you shielding from her at that moment? I think the confusion comes from use of the word moment. Perhaps if it said... up to this moment then it might better make sense. But as it stands she is sleeping so you are not shielding anything from a sleeping person, you could be making funny faces at her and she would not know!

    You are great about putting your emotions on paper dear. Keep the pen flowing.

    Suzi

  • Romantic

    Your poem is very romantic and we have no doubt how special is the person to whom you wrote.

    Nice writing. Thanks for sharing

  • refinnej
    August 7

    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful!!!
    I often ask myself, why do i deserve to be loved?  You cant totally enjoy it for fear of them waking up and you not being the person they have on the pedestal.


  • John BoSox
    August 7
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for your comments..So kind

  • A beautiful poem. It makes me want to cry (in a good way) when I read it

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