A newly built bridge-- mustered from the hands and tools of love-- fell apart before given its chance to prove its' cohesiveness to the world. I had planned to be an architect, but this creation produced immeasurable amounts of challenges that led to defeat.
A century old bridge-- created by the engineers from heaven-- collapsed at old age, pretending to be standing whole in front of the world. I was proud to be an architect, but this structure, after incalculable numbers of cars tread upon it, didn’t make it to the finish line.
I thought that love was an architect’s design, but over and over again I made innumerable mistakes; As I tried to reconstruct my heart, yours found it impossible to forgive.
…And here I dreamt I was an architect.
Author notes
I am still experimenting with prose and free verse.
title named after a lyric from a song by Brand New.
N o t - t h e - s u n
Prompt: The Decemberists: Here I Dreamt I Was an Architect:
-- the lyrics that inspired me --
And try one, and try two
Guess it always comes down to
Alright, it's okay, guess it's better to turn this way
And I am nothing of a builder
But here I dreamt I was an architect
And I built this balustrade
To keep you home, to keep you safe
From the outside world
But the angles and the corners
Even though my work is unparalleled
They never seemed to meet
This structure fell about our feet
And we were free to go
In a list
A contest entry
- here I dreamt I was an architect. by etoile.
2825 points, ended August 20, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - It's So Cliche by Pisces Pieces.
1750 points, ended September 1, 15 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Bronze Prewrites by Aussie Gypsy.
550 points, ended September 18, 36 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewites aloud! Click to find out more by Maggie Kay.
550 points, ended October 14, 71 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Tell me what you don't like, so I can edit.
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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I can relate to this, completely, you left me wanting more as I found myself in so many of these lines. Well done on a great piece of prose. Best to you in the contest
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love this! such a strong and well laid out piece, I don't think this could be built any better.
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thank you
your words are so kind.
I will be returning the favor shortly
when I read your poem
"And the coastline is quiet"
in my Brand New titles contest;
and I am SO GLAD that someone
took that title because
it has beauty written all over it.
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20.77 / 25
Nicely done. This was well thought out and it read very well. -
I think you did a great job with this prose! I love the metaphor and it compliments the emotion so well! I don't write much prose, but have tried it a few times and really enjoy the effect it can have.
I just think I was able to hear the tone in this piece and was able to relate to the message.
♥
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Thank you,I am so glad you were able to grasp the message conveyed here
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good take on the prompt. I really like the third paragraph and the ideas behind this prose piece. great write.
goodluck and thanks for entering
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I love the concept of this, very well put together and your thoughts really reflected the message you wanted to share with the readers
x
Thanks for sharing,
keep writing! -
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Thank you
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This is such a great write! It's beautiful in every way. Thank you so much for entering the contest and good luck in it!
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BEAUTIFUL!!!
It is in loving ones must learn to forgive and feel what another is feeling.
's
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