10 of us, again.
Consistancy.
They must think there is a prize.
Aunty Cathy shouldn't be here. Ten years, 43 diet plans and yet to drop a dress size.
"Chubby Cathy". Jeremy, her hubby, is between jobs:
eating, sleeping and excreting. Nothing to do with suits and ties.
Dear God; Save us from Adam, my sister.
He is so cautious with his food. Afraid to break a nail?
Dad pretends to be proud of this grown half-manly seed.
No suprises there, he and mom were contracted baby makers.
Mom a freelancer at times,
to afford her toxic addictions and stop her body from shaking.
Street name "Cookie".
"Um, honey, knife Right, fork left"
Roy, I hate him. Sitting with his new fiancè. 7th? 8th?
Like his attidudes, they come with expiry dates. Filthy rich.
Oh, Roy, she's a lefty. Lawyers.
Can you laugh any louder Bob? Let the man finish first.
Grandpa always prays against spirits when saying grace.
He never gets to amen. He has to update his late wife
about finances, gossip and a new pair of teeth he found.
Pray she has a hearing aid old man.
Mrs. Bell, my school teacher...my love.
It's obvious why I never pass her class. Adam wouldn't understand.
Well, at least one person on this table is a sane being,
and his table manners...nothing less than considerate.
A contest entry
- poets anonymous;; auditions. (prewrites) by etoile.
1175 points, ended August 18, 45 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Spot any characters from society?
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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no, sorry.
I really like the story line, but this didn't feel like much of a poem to me.
I bet this could be an awesome story or screenplay though
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Lol, forgive the poor lad...he does get carried away at times. 1)Trying to potray society as a sitcom(check)
2)Different social characters and their flaws(check)
3)The judging yet more immoral eye in society(check).
Thank you so much for your insight. This was my 1st attempt at prose...ever. Lovley contest and I hope to see more of this kind. <3
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no
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poets anonymous: no
I agree with yousless. -
poets anonymous: sorry, no.
I like the idea behind this, but I feel you could have done more "showing" than "telling". -
I know I shouldn't laugh but this is quite funny and at the same time tragic but really that's family. Even as odd as this one LOL. I did enjoy this write it would make for a good short story or even a Sitcom. Great detail and love the twist description of Adam your sister LOL. Oh yea your mom Cookie now that's funny you have to admit but sad too.I mean addicted to drugs I take it now that's no life.I aplaud you on this though and look forward to more.
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