never met a woman looks like you
eyes dark as night
mind
body
soul
so right
in love
so in love with you
girlfriends
boyfriends
husbands
wives
stop
smitten
transfixed
mesmerized by the sudden shock of you
conventional standards of morality
sensuality
sexual orientation
fall away
collapse entirely
heart pounding erotic freedom
raucus rebellion against the staus quo
even God
the Devil
flee angels
saints
demons
virtue
vice
all heaven
hell
mad mad fools at the sight of you
delirious children chasing after you
never met a woman thinks like you
innovative
creative
rapier wit
mocking vain intellectuals
zero tolerance for arrogant dogma thugs
yet listening deeply to genuine seekers of truth
supportive of their search
island of solace against alienation
chilling loneliness
inflicted on those courageous exiles
who dare eat forbidden fruit
champion of free thinkers everywhere
in awe of you
respect you
totally in love with you
never met a woman smiles like you
laughs like you
moves like you
so alluring
seductive
wicked
fun!
I dance
spin spin with you
entranced by you
out of control
drunk on you
inspired by you
in love
so in love with you
so wildly
insanely
ecstatically
in love with you
Author notes
'Supposing truth is a woman - what then? Are there not grounds for the suspicion that all philosophers, insofar as they were dogmatists, have been very inexpert about women? That the gruesome seriousness, the clumsy obtrusiveness with which they have usually approached truth so far have been awkward and very improper methods for winning a woman's heart?'
Friedrich Nietzsche from Beyond Good and Evil
What did you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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OMG!!! I am at a loss for words. I love this piece. It is not everyday a man talks about a woman he loves this way. Most men wouldn't know how. I say BRAVO to you for this piece.
I love the style you used, "your own", is it? Well it worked well for this piece. Thank you for sharing....
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Oh wow... I was really blown away with this piece, I'm so glad I crossed it!!! WONDERFUL...
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stunning! oh i love the way you write..so different..your style of poetry is quite something! i seldom read such concrete words that are expressed so well! beautifully done poet...just stunning..great stanza fragments too...
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This is a simply sensational poem, the very reason you are on my favorites list. As I am reading it, it stops my heart beating a little in order that I can retain its beat. It is intelligently written and exquisitely written with a captivating rhythm.
And as much as I love the poem itself, I love the fact that you created this from Beyond Good and Evil. Fabulous prompt, and fabulous work!
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WOW
"entranced by you
out of control
drunk on you
inspired by you
in love
so in love with you"
if i had to choose...these would be my fav lines, but i seriously
love the rhythm flowing thourghout its entirety....i read it over and over and over. i bet it sounds even better spoken in person! such a great write!
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Such an uproar... to create a "new normal"--I'm not sure I've ever read anything just like that. It is one thing to have a consuming effect on your lover, but upon all other walks of life! Wow. That third part was really original and totally crazy, I loved it!
I think it was good that you brought it back to a personal level though, and somehow, while I've heard all those words before, they seemed to mean more, or to have a greater intensity anyway.
This poem is sparse and to great effect. Funny thing... the absence of the word "who" in the sections "never met a woman ___ smiles, looks moves like you." I tell you, it left me wondering WHO she was. Kinda begs the question. Not sure if you intended that, but I bet I'm not the only one who had to wonder.
So this had a super-fast flow too because of the short and single-word lines. It was like a rush of intensity that just kept coming and you couldnt make it slow. I think that was to great effect considering that was the whole point of the poem.
Anyways, I really enjoyed this.
Great stuff.
ten
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it's a new poem
New details, new perspectives, new depictions. I think that by fleshing the bones you have introduced an element of intimacy that I don't recall sensing in the original.
It's becoming more melodic, too.
Luvit. -
Ah. Love Love Love ...
I wrote today on Facebook: The internet makes the world small, but Love forever remains a vast Universe.
I can hear the music in this poem. I hope you live your imagination!
Thank you so much for reading my work.
Blessings
Myra
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Wonderful!
Before I began reading I noted the length ... much shorter than usual for you ... and half way through reading it I was already wishing it longer.
Look forward to hearing you read it aloud.
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