becalmed,
amidst obese obituaries-
as the sky whistled mushroom shades,
it rained a little boy...
Author notes
prompt : awkward silence
"Little Boy" was the name of one of the atomic bombs deployed upon Japan in the second world war.. (the other being "fat man")
Little boy was dropped on Hiroshima on August 6th, 1945, and Fat Man was dropped on Nagasaki (diverted from its original target due to heavy cloud) on August 9th, 1945..
A contest entry
- QUICKIE TIME! 8poets...15minutes...17 words... by islekine.
460 points, ended August 6, 7 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Gold prewrites 15 lines or less. by CentrifugalCorpse.
1100 points, ended August 28, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comment/Critique if you wish
Comments
1 - 21 of 21
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Wonderfully Penned Darling
Congratulations darling on the Gold. When I read the last line I was in awe of your pen what a thought provoking piece darling. You always delight with such substance a wonderfully penned work, which my heart gifts thanks for you.
Lady E
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What a unique take on the prompt. I especially like the second line, it rolls so poetically off the tongue. This was definitely deserving of the gold it was rewarded. Congrats and best of luck in the contest!
-corpse -
Truly a spectacular Piece,
you just go for the marrow of things'
Rob, and you back it up with such good
infomation, and the Gold Sir, i bow
Blessings always
Rend
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Words dipped in Atomic Gold my friend, may they radiate in the glory of thier 1000 year half-life.
I like it, I like it so!
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Congratulations on the gold...well written and expressed. Thought provoking too. Thanks again.
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Whoa. Whoa. That was chilling. It was even more so after reading your Author Notes. You did a stunning, brilliant job with the prompt, conquering it to be your own. Wow. Congratulations on the much deserved gold!
Write on.
~*~SP~*~
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Awesome
Sorry that I did not catch this before the contest was over, but none-the-less, you "nailed" the prompt and were justly awarded!
Thanks for sharing your thoughts and your craft, Robert!
b
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I am moved, I am touched and I felt so much after reading this hun
What thoughts
and to think it was the anniversary yesterday of Hiroshima
Lets hope there is never a repeat of this again
Best wishes and well done on your Gold
Julie x
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ya give me chills Pops
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Easily this was going to be gold, there was no doubt in my mind before I saw the trophy. What a brilliant mind you have to choose this for the contest prompt. They are sad moments in history you speak of and are still kept in this silence. Beautifully but tragically done. Congratulations on your gold
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An apt poem for the time. I shall never forget the absolute horror of that dreadful day. You did take the prompt to the highest level.
Well done indeed and a timely reminder which saddens me.
-
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Thanks Bob, for your continued support and I agree, I've seen television footage of the actual moment and I just cant describe my absolute horror... lets hope this is one lesson history does teach us to avoid ever again... though with human nature being what it is, I have my doubts...
cheers my friend. -
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Like you Rob, I doubt that those who will make the decisions will ever learn from the past. I will never forget the horrors of both bombings. There was no need.
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Aaaaaaaaaww Danggg~
Are You trying to get my eyes to swell AGAIN!!
Another Powerful stunner my Friend and
You took the prompt to the highest level
Kudos!!!
This brought tears
Wow~
Congratulations on Your shiny!
-throws confetti-
Woot~
Thank You for sharing Your Talent
Best wishes in all You do
with love & light~ Desire~*~
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Oh!!!! Now that's a topic I didn't expect this prompt to take... Clever.. And quite a
deep poem/ strong impact -
Wonderful...
Happened right around this time...
Thanks for a wonderful entry!
Best wishes always!
and
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Oh wow. Love where you've taken the prompt! Great write!
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Oh wow.. Different take! Nice job
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...shucks. Talking about thinking outside the box... you practically shat out a circle. Sara luz it.
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Wow, great work with this prompt
and good luck to you with it here.
Thanks a lot for sharing it with all of us!
Jeremy0826 -
yay!
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