When circumstances force I realize
Destiny lays beyond these Earthly skies.
Then, tears of sorrow encompass me;
Will all I know someday cease to be?
I see the final curtain slowly drawn.
Where will I find the strength to carry on?
So, softly I cry
Wond'ring why
All I have ever loved will soon be gone.
Then I'm inspired to deem these thoughts unwise
And happiness appears to my surprise.
For, when ascending through stars above
I'll be connected to you, my love.
Then tears of happiness begin like rain.
As I can see the fate we will attain.
For I love you so
That I know
In love's eternal stardust we'll remain.
Author notes
Option #2 Irrevocable love.
You can hear this original song here:
http://cid-1ac2377a001cbff0.skydrive.live.com/self.aspx/Songs/Eternal%20Stardust%20Mix.mp3
When taken to the page click "download" near upper left of page.
Comments
1 - 24 of 24
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Superb
A very fine write, indeed, for you have expressed your thoughts quite well, and imagery; rhythm, and rhyme are just fine. Thanks for sharing this one with us. -
very nice write.
Good luck in the contest. -
This is a very nicely written piece! I like how you wrote it. I wish you luck. Keep up your great work!
TwiztidMaggot -
Excellent
'tis a very fine write, indeed. You have expressed your thoughts quite well. Imagery; rhythm, and rhyme are just fine. Thanks for sharing this one with us.
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From tears to "love's eternal stardust"
in a few short lines. Such strength of spirit
you show in your words!
A beautiful ascension from sadness to the promise of joy.
M-C
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How delightful to now look up to the stars and imagine that my love and I and all that have loved before and will continue infinity is how the our universe was created. Very beautiful
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wow, this is really good! i love how positive you made it. And the background fits well with it. Awesome job!
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Enjoyed this poem very much.
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I like it, good work on the rhyming even though thats not my favorite style. I liked how you turned it around from negative to positive and how you did it without it seeming forced, that can be a hard thing to do. I like it, reminds me of some of my stuff =)
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aww, this is so sweet....such a positive outlook on something so sad.
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I like the opposites balanced here, sorrow/happiness, earthly/ eternal, and the message of love that transcends time and place. I very much liked the sound of the song too - you have a beautiful voice and I won't easily tire of listening to it. Thanks for posting the link - and best of luck in this contest.
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This is very beautiful.
I love the way your words were so elegant!
Nothing was awkward it was just stunning and beautiful.
I wouldn't change anything in this poem. It's beautiful the way it is.
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An amazing poem, having the music to listen to was nice too.
I really like the flow of this poem and the music. This is a phenomenal love poem/song.
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A very sweet poem, love transcends everything
I think if you shorten the first few lines of the second stanza it will flow better:
Inspired to deem these thoughts unwise
Happiness appears to my surprise.
When ascending through stars above
I'll be connected to you, my love.
Just a suggestion
Cherry
xxx
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While I appreciate the comment if you listen to the song in the AN, your suggestion would not fit the music. Thanks for the help and the kind words.
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This has wonderful imagery, and an amazing flow to it. It is a true love poem, without being too cliche. Wonderful write =]
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the second verse was really good, i enjoyed the read, take care
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this restores my faith in life and love, well done this is a really beautiful write
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aww,this is beautiful. Sometimes fat does take one by surprise and we may lose someone dear but we must keep in mind that we'll all be reunited one day.
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Truth is love never dies...
What a wonderful heartfelt poem that makes me sigh...I too have wondered why. Life and lessons we all learn just to leave those we love behind ...yet truth is we never lose the love. I love the thought provoking style and content . Well done and well said poet.
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This brought tears to my eyes. I needed to read this right now.. very uplifting and beautiful !
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I am so glad it was helpful. Did you listen to the song, too?
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I think it's a beautiful song. Lovely and sensitive and lonely and thoughtful. I love the parallel construction of the two stanzas: tears of sorrow/tears of joy.
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You always get the entire plot of everything I write. You may want to get examined.
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