crying for love

So many things in life I regret.  But when it comes to you, I don’t know what I regret more.  Do I regret ever meeting you?  Do I regret letting those walls down?  Do I regret loving you? 
I will never regret our time spent together.  Yes, we had some bad, bad times--but I wouldn’t trade a single second of it.  I would rather spend time with you fighting over petty things then have to life a day without you at all.  I never thought it was possible to love someone so much, or even hurt this much.  My world has been shaken and torn in two. 
I will never again be able to show you, because you wont give me a chance.  You say you need time.  What you really mean is, you want to give me time to accept the truth without further punishment.  With a little hope that one day things could be like they once were.  I don’t know how to tell you any other way, I love you.  I need you.  I don’t want to go on without you.  I’ve said it a lot here lately, and I’ll say it again.  I would rather die then live my life without you.  Something special was shared, how can you just walk away?  Taking my heart and soul with you.  You leave me here an empty shell of a person, with nothing left to give anyone else.  I am weak and wore….I wish I could understand why I pushed so hard.  All I can tell you is that I was hungry for more of your love.  I thought if I didn’t push you would go looking for someone else.  Can’t you see I just wanted YOU.  I wanted us to be more.  Something we were in the beginning.  Remember when you were the one crying?  When you were the one hurting?  Because I wanted to end it all.  Remember that feeling and terror?! 
I feel like my life has already ended-Like I have nothing to live for.  Because for so long now YOU were all I was living for.  If you hadn’t can into my life Corey, I would have drank myself to death.  You know I was on my way there.  And I thank God that you helped me get over that low point in my life.  Now- I have no desire to drink.  These feelings are not something you can drink away.  And honestly, I don’t think time can ever erase what scars have been left by this brutal attack on my heart.  You are the only one that can heal me.  I will wait.  I will wait as long as you want, as long as I have the hope, and the promise that you will one day return to me.  People can and people do chance.  You change for those you love, for those you want to fight for.  I’ve came to far with you to ever think that I could be the same.  I wont and I don’t want to be the same.  I want to always love you and you only.  No one can ever take the place you hold in my empty heart. 
It feels like minutes are days. And the hours weeks.  I am trying to be patient for you, but my whole body cries out for your loving touch.