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Incomplete Markings

Words fall on the page in a haze of the unexplained, black stains strewn
across a pale plain.
I wrestle the phrases as these bones grow old and I hear their sharp
cracking.
and still they leave much unsaid, so utterly lacking.
yet will You see this desperate plea for recognition? how can I pray in this condition?

I've been waiting for inspiration to humble me,
for these lines to pour out with a melody.
I want to sing to You
Lord, I want to sing to You.

All of my worthless markings through which inadequacy loudly screams,
ringing and ringing;
can not praise You as You deserve, how can perfection be adored
through such broken words?
and still I want to serve You, beautiful Lord.
Unworthy, I bow and serve you, Lord.

I've been waiting for inspiration to humble me,
for these lines to pour out with a melody.
I want to sing to You
Lord, I want to sing to You.

Author notes

I've been trying to write a song about my faith, and it just hasn't been working.
this is the best I could come up with.
pretty sad I know

For real now..

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Comments


  • kerrypn
    August 6

    Edit | Reply
    Technically this is flawless-you have made excellent use of alliteration in the first verse-particularly with the repetition of plain. The first verse is undoubtedly your strongest in my opinion, and is loaded with meaning.
    I am not overly keen on the repetition of the second verse-but this is a personal preference and not a reflection on your work-this technique does suit the genre, and reflects the constancy of your faith.

    You should be pleased with it-I liked it


  • I will stand by you
    August 5
    Edit | Reply
    all I can say is that you tried and it is better than what I can do for my faith. keep up the good work.


  • TheStreetReverend
    August 5

    Edit | Reply
    I could see this being sang in a church,
    ````````````````````````````````
    I've been waiting for inspiration to humble me,
    for these lines to pour out with a melody.
    I want to sing to You
    Lord, I want to sing to You.
    ````````````````````````````````
    When you write of faith, or religion in general, I personally believe it is all beautiful. Good write....Though i don't understand why you capitalized all the "you's"...


  • Marie-xo
    August 5
    Edit | Reply
    Its Great.. I Really Could Understand Wat You Were Feeling.. I Like It.. Good Job..