She is a portrait of sun shining on ocean waves
never realizing what profound vision lies in wake;
I invite her to crash into my shore where branches
will bathe in beauty to be soaked in all of its warmth.
Author notes
"The Sun sets in your eyes
as it rises in mine" - Alice J. Baldwin (Auburn Sunrise)
(I may have misinterpreted your meaning of the quote but it seemed romantic to me)
In a list
What did you think
Comments
1 - 31 of 31
-
Gah contrast.
Sara was reading funny stuff. *And now has serious face on*
Well done!
-
Beautiful!
-
amazing
I love it. I added you to my favs, I love all your poetry.
-
My comments suck lately Matt...but for lack of better words...Nice.
-
you do the romantic thing so very well, and what better metaphor for love and sensuality than the sun and the sea, the crashing, the rising and falling..
beautifully done.
~ Nicolette
-
-
you make the sea sound sexy lol
-
-
it is sexy
-
-
-
it's really nice to see some young men into writing poetry. and when i say this, i mean writing really good poetry.
"I invite her to crash into my shore" i love that.
keep writing...you have so much talent. and always keep working on poetic device...
-
totally different style than the last one i just read... a softness and alot of words when i speak them aloud. the only thing that threw me was branches, but then i noticed the title and duh!!! ok, once i got over the stupidity of not seeing that the first read through, i went back to imagine driftwood... maybe a limb from a tree on a rocky coast whose branch has broken off in search of something, drifting from place to place until it settles in a spot to rest... waiting for the sun to come and ride the ocean waves when you call to her. i liked the word invite... to me, that is love for her coming through your words. refreshing to read.
-
I don't think you mistinterpreted Allie's meaning here, she is quite the romantic soul. You captured that here in this small piece. I expect this will do very well hun. Gorgeous imagery you lest us, the reader with. Best to you in the contest
-
It reminds me of the part of the wave that is so greenish blues with colors that cant be described, right before it crashes. I love it!!!
-
the sun shining on the ocean IS beautiful. I don't know where the branches came from... presumably a tree on the coastline?
-
-
branches were meant as a metaphor for my arms but yeah...as far as the image goes it was supposed to be a tree on the coastline...or maybe one that had fallen onto shore
-
-
lol Sappy is fine if it is written well, you do it beautifully C
-
-
that is very nice of you to say lol
-
-
I happen to prefer "sappy thoughts". THAT's the good stuff. Best of luck in the contest.
-
great metaphor played out here. excellent write.
good luck in the contest.
-
Simple, short and so so beautiful!
-
This is gorgeous
...
...
that is all!
-
You didn't misinterpret at all, Matt. It is actually an excerpt from a romance poem I wrote but never finished or fully liked.
I absolutely LOVE what you did with those two lines. The second and third lines really, really were perfect. You do this brevity thing so well... succinct, I believe is the word (there I go molesting that "." key again).
I keep reading this again, and thinking it's better every time. I couldn't have written it better (obviously), and am realling falling in love with this poem. It kind of mirrors the original idea I had for those lines, but actually expands upon them in a very deep way, yet manages to stay so brief.
How do you do that?
Excellent entry!
I'm SOOOOO glad you entered this contest!
-
You certainly have a way with words Matt. Great write. Best of luck in the contest.
-
quite romantic. took me to thoughts of the mangrove forests on the western coast of Mexico. lovely images...
a good poem.
-
amazing poem. this is beautiful. well done and good luck x
-
This is infinitely beautiful. My favourite thing about this poem is the fact that YOU wrote it. That, and its vibrant softness; the metaphor of crashing and soaking in relation to the imagery you used. It is veryyyyy sigh-worthy, but clever beyond that.
I’d crash into your shore, ‘cause I’m a bad driver
Hmm, she’s a lucky girl. I’m jealous
P.S. I did notice the limbs/branches too. Very impressive
-
I got something totally different when I read the quote, but I like the direction you took it too. I like the reference of the branches and the connection it has to your title.
-
-
out of curiosity - what did you guys originally get from the quote?
-
-
I thought it could possibly have something to do with a breakup where you were better off
-
-
Hmm... very cool. I didn't think about that - but that really does fit.
-
-
-
Yeah, at first read I got something completely opposite lol but I read it again and decided it could be romantic too! thanks, stacy
-
-
The glory of each person's perception
-
-
-
wow. matt. this is just breathtaking. seriously - i had to let out a longgg sigh because of the vast beauty in this. you are amazing and so full of awesome talent. i'm proud to know you and to have read your wonderful works! i mean that.
this is just an amazing take on the quote. wow. wow. wow. like. seriously. wow dude! hahaha
thanks for sharing and good luck in the contest. even though it is so brief and simple it is a stunner, for sure. so yeah, good luck even though you do not really need it at all but still 
love, ylova.
Adding your comment:
1 - 31 of 31
