Tragidies and Scars..

Tried writing this a few days ago..alas my own daily traumas,hinderances,oppressive attacks and ongoing sufferance,curbed my quill,it just quivered and trembled till this 4am morn,almost.. dawn. I've been through a delightfull early childhood that suddenly tore and broke into war,some of the most unspeakable forms of tragic,torturous,treacherous mental and physical abuse to a point where I shook and trembled everytime I heard loud noises,arguments... Sadly enough..it's almost always from those closest to you,your very own bloodlines,family and so called friends..the greatest pretenders with their crocodile tears,empty words,yet venom spitting through their eyes,but we refuse to believe what we see,thinking our minds and paranoia is just at play. I almost got raped one night by a friend,wasn't leading him on,but he just came on,pushed me to the floor,i'll never forget,the first thing that grabbed my mind was GOD. I silently lay there with tears flowing down my face and said a silent prayer: "GOD,please help me,don't let this happen,i'll never be the same again." I didn't know what to expect,and just looked up at that face,he was my boyfriend's mate,supposed to takecare of me cause we were apart,he was in Austria and I was in London.That brute got up from lying on top of me after one minute and had the audacity to say,"I'm sorry,thought you wanted it." I was in love and had never given that guy any inclination of the sort,he simply wasn't my kinna guy,no chemistry,no shit. Excuse my foul latin. I'm not comparing this to sexual abuse from a very close family member,i'm just sharing it. My scars and wounds are deeply etched and engraved within,I may heal,but i doubt that i'll ever forget. After reading that tragic story that Mandi wrote, my tattered torn,shredded,broken,drained heart replenished with new blood. I wept bloody bleeding blood that night at that poor young girl's unjust dammned damage,and tragic wound. I bled,bled,bled and bled blood pure and red.She took a very courageous bolder than bold step,stance and chance writing about it and posting it up in here. I can't use the word applaud,doesn't feel quite right. I do sincerely admire and respect the strength, brave courage,and determination in wanting to move on in her life,past taints and pains. She seems to be a very smart cookie,and probably realizes where this courage,and strengths come from.GOD hear your inner wails,see your tearfilled pails,heal and make you whole again!  GOD bless. S.