While away the windy night.
The barren void surrounds me.
It creeps and crawls
like vines
on the villa,
it closes in around my doors,
filling corners of my room,
moving across the floor,
snaking straight for
my beating heart.
It possessess my movements,
it raises my voice,
to speak to shadows,
who have sounds of their own,
as they wail at the walls,
and step into
the room.
Oh once silent night,
rescue me from
your deafening dark,
don your satin
in quiet and calm,
release the gentle stars
to bless me.
Baptize me
beneath the sky.
Never shall I roam,
or shall I sob against
my wailing wall,
that guards the night,
and holds the spirits,
of the shadows of sound.
Author notes
Inspired by the song: Rhythm of the Heat.
: Peter Gabriel.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rzwMe-3XVn4
A contest entry
- 1000 points, 1000 pws by Shadow Anonymised.
1000 points, ended November 23, 1092 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
Comments
1 - 55 of 55
-
Powerful visual images accompany the read, even without the music in the background it has an impact and stands on its' own.
-
This one deserved a second comment. J.
-
A second read of this poem still has the intriguing power as it did on the first..Your vivid imagery echoes......One of your most stunning writes..I love it!
-
Nice interpretation of Gabriel's song here, with its tribal soul spirit and mesmerising percussion... for the moment I was drawn right back into my one man bar drunk with discordant poetry and whisky...and the shadows; whispering to one another among the rafters...
Thanks for reminding me that in the morning the darkness will be gone; even tho the residual shadows will find a place in my meancholic heart...I treat them with respect these days now that I know that they are only memories...
We never got to have that beer Liam did we...
Do they have budweiser in heaven...? haha...I know what you're thinking!
Cheers good buddy
John
-
Hmm, I like. Of course, I take this to my own place. But I have a penchant for the abiguous. I love dark, windy or stormy nights... where I crawl into my mind and hide... I love the ending... and also
it closes in around my doors,
filling corners of my room,
moving across the floor
lol, reminds me of the sleepless nights in the haunted house I grew up in! Ahh the old days!
-
Lovely natural flow going on here i think. As i read it you came across as if the words seeped out of you unfettered and effortlessly. The best way i believe.
i look forward to reading a lot more of the same even tho it will be totally original and diverse.
See you soon. J.
-
Your pen is mightier than the sword...
Liam, you always come up with the most brilliant poetry, mere words cannot capture my glowing thoughts about this impressive write... So, I'll simply say I absolutely love this masterpiece (I like your new photo, as well). Take care and keep it flowing... 
Peace & Hugs,
xx Cyn xx
-
WOW
This is awesome!!! very deep and packed with incredible imagery.. yeah if this is an indication of what's to follow....i'm gonna be one happy camper following your work my friend..
-
complete brilliance words slot together like pieces of a perfect puzzle...i love your work big time...it always makes my soul soar
thanks liam
T
-
Another brilliant poem here, some of the lines in this are true genius, the first line is fantastic and hooks the reader brilliantly, it just seems to hold an enchanting magical nature.
The rest of the poem does not disappoint, it flows so well =] -
wow. Listen to this ..."While away the windy night.
The barren void surrounds me"..That is such an entrancing line. what follows is killer...damn good. But this opening line , the meter and the word interaction ...such a good poetic phrase. I like this much! -
This is a very well written piece. I like how you wrote it. Keep up your amazing work!!!
TwiztidMaggot -
Oh man, now that i read this while listening to the song that inspired it-
holy fuck....
nice man. -
I must say that initially, the Poe essence is powerful but underlying, there is that fundamental Lowell Poe personality!
The alliteration here is phenomenal in lines like:
"It creeps and crawls
like vines
on the villa"
but by far & away, my favorite line is:
"Baptize me
beneath the sky."
The peace in this line is so soft and gentle - simply beautiful. Thank you for sharing this enormous gift of yours.
-BeanSidhe
-
You are just too much for words... this is why "Lowell Poe" should be a euphemism for genius.
-
I forgot to give you claps lol
-
Impressive!!!
It creeps and crawls
like vines
on the villa,"
Sends such chilling images to my mind!
Claws at my soul and sings to my being.
Very very well done!!
~Atusha~ -
Well done. I enjoyed this. It is pleasently melancholy.
Mike -
Ah, Liam...how you dress the shadows of sound as a most intriguing metaphor! She comes as as an invited guest, and your imagery is so vivid how you paint her..
"don your satin
in quiet calm
release the gentle stars
to bless me"
This is one of your best, one of my favorites of yours...dear friend..Bravo!.Gypsy
-
Strangely peacefull
Yes there's dark in here too but the over-all mesage is peace and resolution. Strong sense of embracing the unknown and acceptance .very strong write. nice pen!
-
Very intense! I love the beginning; I can see the vines creeping and growing until in fills all the space. That was so cool. Almost like effects in a movie. Everything about this poem just builds and builds and captures me.
Síochán leat
~Mairéad~
-
This was a great poem, Oh once silent night,
rescue me from
your deafening dark,
don your satin
in quiet and calm,
release the gentle stars
to bless me.
Baptize me
beneath the sky.
This was my fav part, very well done..
Good luck in the contest! -
I have read this before Liam...and i still like it! I saw it in the featured poetry section and didn't realize I had already read this...but I had to leave a comment for you!
Pam
-
beautiful, a wonderful dark write
-
A poem of darkness that strives for inspiration beyond the darkness.
This was a good poem, but I must ask that you put your source in the Author notes, or message it to me. -
Expressively contemporary and darkly beautiful, this is THE sort of piece that everyone needs to read before they can say they've read real poetry. It's filled with haunting images, expressed through the most exquisite language, using all the right wording and language as a channel.
The prison of a disturbed night, whether it be through intoxication of any kind, mental torment, or insomnia - is one nearly impossible to break out of and is filled with unexpected terrors that can follow you into your dreams and again, into the waking life. You have encapsulated this perfectly. The silent begging to be released and pleading for the old, favoured night to come back. I know this all to well.
Well done, I loved every line of this, and every stanza was word perfect. Brilliant!
Jess x
-
Shaows can menace an even Devour our own shaow, or they can ance with us at our most joyous moments. The greatest mistake is too live in the shadow
of someone else. great write~~Artis
-
absolutely amazing! I love how you wrote it!!! Keep up your amazing work, I wish you the best of luck int eh contests!@
TwiztidMaggot -
very haunting...i have goosebumps =)
-
speachless
-
I think I may have read and commented on this once before, but just in case I'll comment (again?) on a very nice write and leave some smileys (assuming I have not already.)
-
I can say nothing
-
Terrific write. Very descriptive and extremely visual. It actually reminds me of "The Fall of the House of Usher." Not that the story or wording is very similar but the same eerie sense of loneliness arises from this poem in the same way it does that one. A very good work.
-
Cool
A sense of loyalty to the isolation the speaker feels, is very well conveyed. But also, a sense of something greater desired, but not overly so...
"Baptize me
beneath the sky."
"It possessess my movements,
it raises my voice,
to speak to shadows,
who have sounds of their own,
as they wail at the walls,
and step into
the room."
Were my favorite lines...I really really liked that a lot...The personification of the shadows was very well done.
You really get a sense of isolation, but not impending depression for the speaker...Almost at peace with his solitude...That's what I got, and I really enjoyed it. GREAT POEM =)
Blessings, Write On..
BRANDON
-
finding your peace in your demons, thats what this means to m
-
Hi Lowell...brilliant job on this piece...emotional and quite a visual poem if I may say so. THANKS for presenting this poem!
-
Wow!
This i pretty intense stuff. Reminds me quite a bit of good old Edgar Allan Poe. Very good use of descriptive language and imagery. Good job!
-
Oh wow. The impact of this... is so great. I love your use of imagery. It is so powerful... yet in the beginning it is so soft and mysterious.
Wonderfully penned, my dear
- Perception -
The night closes in again, the only sounds are the barking of the dogs and the gentle whir of the window fan. Darkness closes in until all that is left to do is shout aloud at the shadows whose presence can now be seen. The shadows embrace leaves nothing but the sound of your pulse pounding within your ears, there is no comfort within the depths that are held dear.Though renewal is sought, there is no escape.
This is the every night experience of many of us. I have not shed a tear in many a year my brother, yet, I had to turn away as my vision began to blur. The knife only stops when it hits the bone.
This is quite possibly the most affecting work I have ever read, nae felt.
I gotta take a break and grab a smoke, Michael has got some thinking to do.
Peace to you my Brother,
Michael
-
I really like these lines:
It possessess my movements
and raises my voice,
to speak to shadows,
who have sounds of their own,
This is haunting but lovely Liam!
Pam
-
..i like it ..,/
it seems that it is well written .,"
i like the concept of it.."
i like all the lines especially this one..:
Oh once silent night,
rescue me from
your deafening dark,
don your satin
in quiet and calm,
release the gentle stars
to bless me.
..thanks,..continue to write a poem..
i think you are a good writer..for you caught my attention..
take care always..
good luck..
keep writing. -
Loved how the whole thing flowed together perfectly, and good job picking the parts where to seperate the stanzas.
-
Liam
Really quite lovely almost a song against the wailing wall.
May the stary ploughs be always at your feet mate.
In the crime of poetry you ARE a person of interest. -c
-
Well done. I detect a sense of lonliness or perhaps alone-ness in this poem. I enjoyed this melancholy piece.
Mike
-
the shadows of sound....very nice.. i can almost hear the silence echoing
there are a lot of excellent lines in this. well done.
-
This is a truly haunting, and beautiful, piece of work, and i only hope that i can reach this level of mastery.
The imagery is wonderful and my favorite verse was:
Oh once silent night,
rescue me from
your deafening dark,
don your satin
in quiet and calm,
release the gentle stars
to bless me.
I was really touched by those lines.
Please continue to put out work like this, i thoroughly enjoyed it, and i don't think 3 applause is anywhere near enough for this....
With ALl Respect
Jerry
-
bonsoir tristesse
-
This is a mournful, pensive, poignant piece, Poet. One overflowing with haunted yearnings. Well done.
-
wailing wall- Im feeling like that today myself, a little sad, and not really sure why. it's a lovely hot summer day, nothing traumatic happened from this morning until now, but I just have this deepseated melancholly preoccupation. Lord help me, if it doesnt exist, I have to make it up
that was supposed to be funny, lol
love your sadness, its heartbreaking, and I can so relate.
love,
jin
-
I think its good with great imagery. I enjoyed all of it, good job.
-
wooooo-
you know- this puts me back to childhood. When holding my breath beneath the blankets and praying that I wake the next morning.
ahhh- the torments of Leprechauns, or the shill scream of Bean Sidhe....
or the fear of a baby to be snatched by the Tuatha De Danann only to be replaced in her crib with a Changeling-
and the God awful feeling of returning to body after an astral travel.....
the prayer to keep one safe thoughout Slumberland..
great write! and thank you-
I quite enjoyed this read~
you really evoked a lot from within
-
Ooooo,
Liam,This was quite a piece and here you said you didn't
have it in you to write.
This was awesome.
Creepy and erie but spectacular indeed!
My favorite line was
"Baptize me beneath the sky"
Great write !
-Mandi
-
I really like the way you wrote this. Makes me think of the uneasiness that I feel at night.
-
it feels to me, like you are bargaining with something,
bargaining against a nightmare...
it's eerie at first, but after that, it gains a sense of
weary peacefulness.
beautiful, as always.
-
OH my goodness!! This is breath taking. Eerie, all consuming, I have shared this exact feeling. This is by far one of my favorites!! Wow. I still am shocked in the beauty of it. The words coming together perfectly and seemingly effortless.
I cannot stop reading this section....
"The baron void surrounds me.
It creeps and crawls
like vines
on the villa,
it closes in around my doors,
filling corners of my room,
moving across the floor,
snaking straight for
my beating heart."
It is extraordinary. I can feel it, see it, even taste it. It consumes me as it is consuming you. I am eternally humbled by your poetic grace. Bravo, Poet, Bravo!!!
Always...
Shhh....I am reading and reading and reading again.
Adding your comment:
1 - 55 of 55
