Why are your teeth
all covered in grease?
And why does your tongue
always smell like dung?
I used to not mind;
your mouth is not mine,
but you breathe on me
and it smells like swine.
Your teeth were once white,
but now they’ve turned grey.
You need to use floss,
and brush every day.
You don’t want dentures
later in life,
so use mouthwash,
for pete's sake, start tonight!
Don’t let your mouth go dry,
Listerine…Listerine.
You never brush,
but I brush all the time.
I have no plaque;
you’ve got layers of grime.
You sit in the chair
at the dentist’s and swear;
I don’t bat a lash
'Cause I came prepared.
You treat your mouth bad,
your teeth are misplaced.
You wonder what’s wrong,
I wonder how you can taste.
Don’t let your mouth go dry.
Neglected a cavity or two,
you didn’t brush, though I told you to.
You could’ve at least tried to see
your mouth’s state of calamity.
Listerine...Listerine
Don’t let your mouth go dry
Listerine
Don’t let your mouth go dry….
Listerine, Listerine
Oh Listerine, Listerine
Gums rot out again,
Bad breath comes again
Flowers fall around thee.
You needed teeth more,
but they feel out with ease.
We could not kiss,
for fear of disease
It might be curable,
a case of neglect.
You say forget it,
My mouth’s already wrecked.
Don’t let your mouth go dry…
Neglected a cavity or two, two, two
Listerine
Listerine
Listerine
Listerine
Author notes
A parody of the Bush song Glycerine. I have had this around for at least five years, but never posted it because I thought song parodies were frowned upon around here. So, thanks for giving me the excuse (a contest) to post it at last. I'd also post a file of me singing this, but it is horribly embarassing.
As a note on the contest, I did use the song's original melody; I also believe it is funny.
A contest entry
- Parody Master by Death-Head.
700 points, ended August 4, 13 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Weird Al Yankovic Contest by C.I.M.A Punk.
1050 points, ended August 5, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please feel free to leave a critical review.
Comments
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This should be posted on the wall of every dentist's office. What a crack up. My favorite line was "Flowers fall around thee." That's pretty bad. I wrote a poem along the same lines called Godzilla vs. Mark. It's about a woman I dated who had Godzilla breath. It's in my humor section if you'd like to take a peek. I actually spiked one of her drinks with Breath Assure once. It did no good. That little tablet didn't stand a chance. lol
Congrats on the win.
Mark
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It's a very nice and funny parody. It goes well with the original song.
In my humble opinion, parodies are as good as any poetic form.
Well done and good luck!
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Very.
It's good to see another one who believes in their work.
The thing with Parodies is that: When they actually GO with the song, it makes them THAT much funnier. I still have a few more Parodies left to post.
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