The general is wise,
out in his fatigues,
mentally, for life he bleeds.
He was the supreme general of a street army,
An intelligent man,
that rolled with thugs, and sold drugs,
To many a surprise, he was able to civilize the 85, saving many lives.
but this water head fool meet for devils,
power, greed, envy, and lust
ceased the rebel, and broke down the god
physically down to another leave
A mad man at his brake
the general passed the weight
with an unrelenting smile on his face,
many died, the general was quoted to say,
"I bring homicide a new page, manslaughter the right way.
This is not about your feelings, i spare no-one, No loyalty's in this game."
The general died alone, in a ditch, bullets to the brain.
Revenge the general, that's what i hope,
And tape up grenades to your head
and watch you brains explode...
A contest entry
- Prompt Contest...No Limiits, If you have a prewrite that you think fits, ask me for an exception...Please Make It Deep and Strong For the prompt... by mysticstorm.
600 points, ended August 7, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Choose your battles by Judith Chandler.
875 points, ended September 28, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - <3 Anything and Everything <3 by vampireblood.
575 points, ended November 20, 156 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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This was really good, it had such vivid imagery.
Thanks for entering and good luck to you in my contest.
~Vampy -
vivid piece, power gone wrong.
Thank you for entering my contest. -
"for life he bleeds"
-- That line immediately instills the image of war into the reader's mind.
Then, I read the rest of the poem and see this General is in a war of a different kind. Nice place to take the poem! ^-^
I think, to me, there might have been too many rhymes. But all-in-all, this poem flowed very well.
Great job!
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Powerful and very sad...well written yet the ending did not hit home for me...strong and ful of meaning.
mystic
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amazing
you deserve to win. I love how you made living on the streets into somthing about wars. i loved it. good luck to you.
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