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I Walk Alone By Moonlight

Moonlight stars are shining bright
Casting a shadow down upon my pale face
I walk alone this silent night
Thinking what is wrong and right

As the leaves crunch under my feet
I hum a sad, soft song
Another presence is what I wish to seek
Someone walking alone like I, someone to meet

And yet the cold breeze passes by
I look up at the stars and wonder why
They are so happy to shine that bright
Then I remember they aren't alone this cold night

Minutes pass by and I find myself still alone
Not bothering to care where I roam
Seeing no one step out of the darkness
No one that is brave enough to be shown

Yet as I pass by another silent town
Finding upon my face another sad, sorrowful frown
Then unexpected happens to me
I find a pair of loving arms around me
And I'm not so alone at last, tonight

Author notes

What do you think of?

It sucks :[

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments


  • JulieRenee86
    August 31

    Edit | Reply
    You might think it sucks, but I like it and I know I'm not the writer, but as someone who has been alone, in love, and alone again, because my loved murdered my heart and ability to trust....I think I have an idea of what it is like to suck!
    (not gross way promise...ehh)
    But I do like it and I could see the moon, I could see the stars, I could see the fragments of a faded path behind your every step and I could see the sadness upon your face change as those arms wrapped around you and changed everything.
    You may have been a bit quick to end it, but all in all....didn't suck, nope, didn't, refuse to believe it. (and I'm stubbern)
    matter of fact...I still like it!


  • Sam-I-Am
    August 11

    Edit | Reply
    This doesn't suck!!! The only reason we think that our work sucks is because we're the worst critics of our own work. You have an interesting rhyme scheme actually. It's different which is really cool I like how every stanza can stand alone. It's like everyone is completely different. That's probably why you dont like it, because each stanza doesn't sit parallel to each other. but you know, as someone who stands out and doesn't follow the "in" crowd (I read your page lol) It's a good thing. It's different (Besides, I'm totalling into the scene/emo thing too ;P)

    Awesome

    Sam