i.
And I’ll always be a mess. I will always belong to flowers with burnt petals and onyx irises and ghosts that suck down your soul while you sleep. Did your stars finally explode? Because I forgot to bring a camera and fully capture the moment when you were being vaporized into the stratosphere.
ii.
Your mother said that I could have your things but all I really want to do is shove them in-between sidewalk cracks where they will be taken hostage by spiders and ants and everything you were ever afraid of. I was your marionette for so long that I’d forgotten what it was like to use my arms and legs and balance precariously. This trip-wire hangs from the Earth to Jupiter with a vengeful man on the moon in the middle. But after what you put me through, I’m going to make walking across it look so damn easy.
iii.
1:25 a.m.
What would you be doing if you were here?
Oh, I know. You’d be driving needles into the faces of dolls and ripping out the pendulums of clocks screaming, “There isn’t enough time. Goddamnit, don’t you understand, thereisneverenoughtime!”
You always went through life way too fast.
iv.
I fall asleep to the sound of people being tortured on my television screen.
One.two.three.go.
I dream of black balloons and rattlesnakes and now our aeroplane is spiraling into an ocean where it is taken over by hammerhead sharks. Just another thing that you were afraid of. You used to stand at the shoreline and let the abrasive sand nestle against your toes instead of being a daredevil like me, and swimming out past the “safe zone”. I always got yelled at by the lifeguards for being out too far, but you just stood there with slumped shoulders, looking out sadly at a horizon that would never be your own.
Why were you so afraid all of the time?
iv.
I’m on a midnight train to nowhere fast and I can’t stop and I’m too weak to jump off. The clouds are passing through hieroglyphics of thunderstorms and comets are burning holes through the soil.
I wish I had said yes when you asked me to marry you.
I am more terrified than you could have ever hoped to be.
Gold trophy winner
Adding your comment:
bravo 
Damn. & Then I love the part in quotations...Gahhh it's like a punch to the stomach. Amazinggg.
