You're the nicotine in my cigarette;
The caffine in my coffee...
You're everywhere baby.
You're in the air I breathe;
My will for living.
[Addiction].
But I don't mind it.
I feel you everywhere I go,
Your scent follows me...
[Intoxicating].
I dream of your gorgeous eyes,
Of your long, curly hair.
[Intriguing].
I can't stay away from you,
You're all I ever think about.
[Love]
Or,
[Obsession]?
Author notes
6.] Burnt out on you.
A contest entry
- 1000 Titles. by Antebellum.
550 points, ended August 13, 90 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - for my favorites only---ok now its for everyone by Shelby K.
800 points, ended August 26, 78 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - 2 prewrites a poet, you know you want to enter ^.^ by Kathraina.
800 points, ended October 16, 156 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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like it
i like how you compare this this person to other things like coffine in coffee ,ect. What are u trying to do with the []. Even with those brakets, still sounds great. I like your descriptive words. they help me make a picture in my head, which is cool to find in a poem. Im sure your boyfriend loves this one
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The brackets are just for a free style affect. I put brackets for my feelings: I felt addicted, intoxicated, intrigued, love, and obsession.
Thanks for the comment (:
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Exquisite...simple but effective expression
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Your poem reads a bit like a song somehow. I do like your symbols for addictive love - nicotine, caffeine etc. You have brought out the intensity of this obsessive love cleverly. May it last and give you true fulfilment. Beautiful face, by the way. Tony
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Lol. Thanks (:
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This is such a nice piece of work
You have a real talent to write...
Keep it up the good work!!
Cheers,
-Fern Freire
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I absolutely love what you've written here!
The short stanzas really reinforce what is said and makes the reader delve into the tale.
Marvelous job with this piece!
Bravo and thank you for entering
♥ Kate -
total beast!
thats what u and this poem are!
i love how raw but simple it is!
and how we all can connect
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Thanks so much, babe =)
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It was all amazing
can't say anymore.. it was a special piece of work
love for you
\
keep writing
by
the poet of hearts and beautiful words
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Someone should write the music for this.
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I am told that it is obsession but I say love so meh who is right and who is wrong. Good write it really makes you think. You did a great job on this piece. Thank you for sharing it
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Love the imagery and metaphor in this, always the eternal question when is it love and when is it obcession?
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I like this one a lot. Made a lot of sense to me. Even though to be honest you had at least one misspelled word in it. Wouldn't hurt to run this through spell check just to spice it up a little. Some judges don't like misspelled words. Me if I can tell what a word is I don't count off for it. But I try and point them out just in case you send the poem out to someone else. Cigerate is the word I think is misspelled. And to be honest I am not all sure I spelled it right either.
I do like the set up of the poem. The flow. The imagery. All done well. Good job! Thanks for sharing this with us. -
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Thanks
Yeah, it's spelled 'cigarette'.
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ooh i love where you went with the title.
excellent.
thanks for taking the time to enter.
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