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Reply to Neruda

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Your soul is a large room;

I may find freedom by the hearth.

 

What is slumbering will rise

under the shadows of night

and the quiet music of stars.


Sunrise is reflected in the dew of your eyes.

The horizon aches with your absence.

The tide slows as it reaches the mournful shore.


Your silence flows through bare branches

as trees stretch beneath the sky.

Sorrow is a journey we dare not begin.


You gather flowers and stones like a softly-worn path,

inhabited by memories and laughter.

 

I wake as birds lift,

trailing songs behind them,

notes descending as feathers

they have lost to the wind.



They have lost to the wind

notes descending as feathers.

 

Trailing songs behind them,

I wake as birds lift,

inhabited by memories and laughter.


You gather flowers and stones like a softly-worn path;

sorrow is a journey we dare not begin

as trees stretch beneath the sky;

your silence flows through bare branches.


The tide slows as it reaches the mournful shore;

the horizon aches with your absence.


Sunrise is reflected in the dew of your eyes

and the quiet music of stars.

Under the shadows of night,

what is slumbering will rise.


I may find freedom by the hearth;

your soul is a large room.





 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Author notes


 
 
 
 
 
 
Graphic artists unknown
 
 
 
 

Palindrome inspired by:

 

 

"Your Breast is Enough"


By Pablo Neruda

 

 

From: “Twenty Love Poems and a Song of Despair”, translated by W.S. Merwin

 

 

http://www.geocities.com/nerudapoet/selectedworks.htm


 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

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Comments

1 - 12 of 12

  • crivanea silver member
    August 18

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    I inhale and exhale this poem..taste it in my mouth..finger it with my thumb...I allow my eyes to read over these fine lines again..any my opinion of it only increase...this is such a lovely write...


  • Mallig gold member
    August 4
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    Excellent! Woven with incredible skill and beauty.


  • simone waters
    August 4

    Edit | Reply

    "...I wake as birds lift,
    trailing songs behind them,
    notes descending as feathers
    they have lost to the wind..."

    How lyrical this stanza is, poet.

    and then it comes again,
    the poem bends
    into a mirrored image
    gorgeous reflection sighing out Love's names...


    wonderful Stuff, W.
    (Stuff capitalized to mean top-shelf prime)

    let Accolades rain
    (no luck needed here...nods)






  • Mariana gold member
    August 4

    Edit | Reply

    Wanda, Neruda would be entranced by your beautiful poem. The simplicity of this write evokes such amazing imagery. Well done!

     

    Mariana  




  • Sonja
    August 4

    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful, this is beyond the beautiful. Pablo must smile from his poetical heavens for your poetry. I like how you framed this poem with a golden repeating lines.


  • just mercedes gold member
    August 3

    Edit | Reply
    This is a stellar work - your expressions your own, yet linking so well to Neruda's patterns. I like the clever palindrome, it has a mesmerizing effect here, adding to the haunting beauty of the images used.

    I most like 'I may find freedom by the hearth' - for some reason this resonates with me, the image of security and relaxation.

    Best of luck in the contest Wanda, this is really well done.


  • Nicolette gold member
    August 3

    Edit | Reply
    beautiful poetry, my friend. love this one and how it makes me think of your heart..the one with many rooms . I'll be back to read this one - often. Brilliant piece of writing by one of my favourite poets, and about one of my favourite poets



    ~ Nicolette

  • That is so lovely! Girl you just keep blooming!


  • Peteskid gold member
    August 3

    Edit | Reply
    This is very well done, so many images that give a similar feeling as the Neruda inspiration but an author's unique interpretation, your words produce similar feelings in the reader...very skillful, artistic and it is the author's own palette of emotions that colors the many scenes, the hearth...the heart of the home, a centered feeling of belonging...wonderful poetry...PK

  • Beyond beautiful. I think I just heard him stir and whisper *thankyou*.

  • Bad Bill
    August 3

    Edit | Reply
    This is poetry of a high order - carefully-chosen, beautiful images entirely in keeping with Neruda's brilliance, and the palindromic effect works marvellously well.

    Exceptionally well done,
    Bill

  • awesome, brilliant , this is what i missed reading, poetry like this

    Great great work here, thank you so much , good luck


    Cindy

1 - 12 of 12