Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

I will never be ready for death



I will never be ready for death
                            or the cosy armchair.

After I left my old visions,
                  for a day or two
                        I lay in a shallow grave
                        where you sent me.
I acquiesced
          stretched and still
              lurking in the darkness
                  willingly unnoticed.


But not for long.
 
              Imbued with shrieks
                    and exorbitant anger
I kicked the clods of earth
                and
calculated a new campaign.
      interrogated officers and gatekeepers,
                                        looking for spaces;
                              rejecting some as
          too small
          too dark
          too distant.

This evening the sun beams straight along the road.
      I prowl
          looking in windows
              knowing their numbers.
Poised to pounce.

Those I trust
                  will come and argue pretty points
                  nibbling away at my plans
                      planing down the essential decorative twirls
                              seeking to impose sanity.

But there is no madness in these days
              no impurity
and none in days to come.

                    You will know.

Just watch, listen and marvel.

Author notes

Suggestions for a better title?
Structure?
Words?
Phrases?

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • AlexP
    August 16

    Edit | Reply

    Deep!

    Wow. I can't tell you how favorable this poem was to me. I'm in no way good enough to poise any knowledgeable advice to you on this one. But I plan on learning from your writing. Have a good day! Thank you for lending us the opportunity to enjoy this amazing poem!

    AlexP


  • Oh.My.Juliet
    August 12

    Edit | Reply
    I think a lot of people can relate with this piece, its very honest and true and shows a different side to people

    Thanks for sharing! Have a good day (:

    x

  • x26ss
    August 12

    Edit | Reply
    Very powerful, and self assured. I love the structure of this poem. It almost engineers a new beginning for the reader as well. Let me read this again, and again. A stanza to remember:
    will come and argue pretty points
    nibbling away at my plans
    planing down the essential decorative twirls
    seeking to impose sanity.

    Brilliant...
    I think if I was asked to change my way of thought I might die as well.
    Title wise, I think your very close to square, something isn't quite there but it serves the purpose and fits well.
    Nice job!


  • Kendal Palmer gold member
    August 12

    Edit | Reply
    cosy=cozy
    planing=planning

    I like your take on this much debated subject. The structure of this lends itself to the powerful impact. I enjoyed it. Thanks for sharing.
    Peace and Light, KP