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Bramble Path

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Bramble Path

Let not your mind nor foot be led astray
Beware each step you tread on bramble path
For he who wanders soon is swept away
And no one knows his fate nor tortured wrath

Step not from left nor right but straight ahead
Let not your mind nor foot be led astray
For he who wandered may perhaps be dead
As folklore says his soul was turned to clay

Some find that indecision strikes midway
But he who stays on bramble path is right
Let not your mind nor foot be led astray
Keep all attention fixed upon the light

Remember that the shortcut leads to dark
Do not be tempted by the bright bouquet
The martyrs we remember made their mark
Let not your mind nor foot be led astray

 

 

 

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iiv

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Comments

1 - 35 of 35

  • SeXyBabyGirl21
    October 12

    Edit | Reply
    great job....i really like this...poem a lot...i like the picture,format, and the background. thank you for adding your comments to my poem


  • Lulu Gee silver member
    August 24

    Edit | Reply
    I'm so pleased I stumbled upon you....this again is perfection...in fact I think I'm learning from you....Lulu


    • Amera gold member
      August 24
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you! What a wonderful complement.

      • Lulu Gee silver member
        August 24
        Edit | Reply
        I'm going to attempt a 'Lannet' as I loved yours so much....I'll let you know when I've done it, then you can have a larf...Lu x

  • Eusebius
    August 10

    Edit | Reply
    Just a terrific and twice potent in 16 lines! I did so especially loved this write of your! Not only one ton, but several tons!!


  • Life is a Beach gold member
    August 8

    Edit | Reply
    Ah Amera...you are such an inspiration with both your words and your giftedness in writing those words in perfect form! Exellent Quatern! Pam

    • Amera gold member
      August 8
      Edit | Reply
      Aww… thanks so much. I originally wrote this for a contest. I had to remove it because the judge had no idea what formal poetry was and only liked chopped up prose.


  • kiwigirljacks gold member
    August 8

    Edit | Reply
    Love this sis! It's like old folklore that might have been told as warning.. just had that feel to me. And of course, immaculate form!


  • Desire gold member
    August 5

    Edit | Reply

    Whoa~

    Ooooooooooooh
    Love the flow of this one and the message
    You have weaved in flawless form
    I am so tempted to try this and think I will~
    You make it seem so easy...

    Tight rhyme~ Just Love that too
    I kept being drawn to the words:
    Do not be tempted by the bright bouquet...

    That just drew me in~
    Excellent take on the picture prompt

    Thank You for sharing Your Talent
    Best wishes in the contest
    with love & light~ Desire~*~


  • Ellis gold member
    August 4
    Edit | Reply

    Beautiful poetry

    Good Judgment, Determination, Consistency. "Never give up." Winston Churchill


  • GotLilt
    August 3

    Edit | Reply
    Very interesting. I enjoyed the meter and flow & I'm a sucker for rhyme.


  • XLadyElinorX
    August 3

    Edit | Reply

    a fine poem

    ah, I do like your quaterns, Amera a fine piece - the rhythm is very good and the flow too. . .the imagery is not quite as bright as it probably could be, but - still, is well-written indeed best of luck

    ♠ Lady Elinor


  • nordicsky silver member
    August 3

    Edit | Reply
    Right that’s it then...from now on I’m going to be good and stick to the middle of the path, no more fun diversions.

    I like the simplicity of the quatern, four lines, four stanzas, and rhyming alternate lines. If I ever pluck up the courage to write form poetry this would be a great place to start. Are the ten syllables per line mandatory?

    Thanks for the master class,
    Love, Peter


    • Amera gold member
      August 3
      Edit | Reply
      Well... you can have a little bit of fun!


  • second-born
    August 3

    Edit | Reply
    wow...such an encouraging piece...carefully chosen words and excellent rhymes make this quatern an outstanding one!!! God bless always!!!


  • WuzGood
    August 3

    Edit | Reply
    Wow great take on the prompt, I really enjoyed reading this one, very creative and the rhyming was decent, thanks and good luck in my contest!


    • Amera gold member
      August 7
      Edit | Reply
      Well, it did make the most popular list. Sorry you don't like formal poetry, I removed it thanks for reading.


  • poisonivystar4
    August 2

    Edit | Reply
    Reminds me of last time I went blackberry picking.


  • Pure Thought silver member
    August 2
    Edit | Reply
    here's one to sing praises.
    Excellent.


  • JohnnyD gold member
    August 2

    Edit | Reply
    Others shall sing the praise this piece richly deserves, and I will only think that
    this piece could well have been written of me 30-40 years back, and rightfully so.

    Nice one cubbie, very nice one

    Bring you some fresh Crock tail tonight.

    Love ya



    Dad


  • SteveS gold member
    August 2

    Edit | Reply
    Well, Amera...thanks for that. A very sophisticated poem here. I love the wording and rhyme, the way your quatern finishes is nicely thought through. I will risk boring you with words you must have hear forever and again....perfect tempo....brilliant.


  • The Accidental Poet
    August 2

    Edit | Reply
    So we DON"T take the path less chosen after all...hmmph...seriously though, your meter and rhyme is perfect. I also envision a hobbitlike being handing down this advice...nicely done.


  • Bedroom Eyes
    August 2

    Edit | Reply
    The form of this piece (naturally) is flawless, but the message itself is as one straight from the mouth of a prophet. I enjoy your work very much, and I adore the spiritual side of you when you choose to let it out.

    Nice work, as always, my friend

    Greg


  • cricketjeff gold member
    August 2

    Edit | Reply
    The dark quatern is a form you have made your own and the repeat line always adds a haunting quality. Add the perfect rhyme and meter and job done!
    Wonderfully eerie poetry



    Great stuff

    Jeff


  • Faeryn
    August 2

    Edit | Reply
    Oh! What a wonderful quatern! I love the rhyme and escpecially like the last stanza.
    Love,
    Tay


  • pranj
    August 2

    Edit | Reply
    I visualized Gandalf or Aragorn chaniting this verse in a dark and dreary place, or like the elves singing in the lothlorien! A superb poem, as usual!!
    Great write!


  • Mairi bheag gold member
    August 2
    Edit | Reply
    Perfect edit, adds to the poem - well done.


  • awannabepoet
    August 2

    Edit | Reply
    Oh this is awesome, me like it, me like it. me going to have to try it. Gosh Amera what would I do without your poetic inspirations.

    Hmmmm perhaps I best not dwelve into that line of thought.


  • Mairi bheag gold member
    August 2
    Edit | Reply
    Oh nice one, Sis.


  • Darianna
    August 2

    Edit | Reply
    Yes indeed! Let us not be led astray! Wonderful poem my dear friend! I could just hug the very words you have written! I have wandered off the path so many times only to be prickled senseless!!! Thank goodness I have made my way back onto the path that directs me straight forward! Ah, just wonderful!

    Dari xxx


  • PerVirtuous
    August 2

    Edit | Reply
    You are very adept at writing powerfull positive messages that contain the darkness of consequence. Timeless cautionary tales full of color and emotion. The language and construction of this one are particularly classical, yet you manage to imbue it with a contemporariness that makes it seem more relevant. Bravo!


  • Swangrnv gold member
    August 2

    Edit | Reply

    Goodness

    this is something else!! wow, what an inspiring piece lady..and the message and
    the way you composed this are all outstanding..love the rhyme, and flow..and the form..well it's hard to imagine anyone could do better than you sweetheart..


  • MJ Donnelly gold member
    August 2

    Edit | Reply
    Although Quaterns do not interest me much, I do enjoy yours.

    Wonderful piece Amera.

    You are the rhyme Queen.


  • DesolatELifE
    August 2
    Edit | Reply
    Brilliant. I like this one very, very much. No more to say =]


  • Legend silver member
    August 2
    Edit | Reply
    Is there anyone better at this form? No
    Excellent as usual

1 - 35 of 35