Tickle me pink with frustration
Tangled up in emotion
Tell me the answer my dear astro cancer
weed equals entertainment enhancer
visit my information booth
contemplate the truth
Sister or seductress
crying one night mistress
swallow my pill of conviction
slap in the face prediction
can you bear to be realistic
over the limit of liquid courage
to grow up and act the adult I encourage
a pill to forget your indiscretions
state of many disgrace-able convictions
younger I am, pleading teary eyes
Leave me disappointed in sisterly despise
the only water shed tonight
makes my plead sincere and tight
the rain dripping from my porcelain face
stop falling from grace
at the tender age of nineteen
I switched your maturity with my remaining rebellious teen
never came home
your aging left over innocence is with me alone
our father doesn't need to worry, he's dying of cancer
life's freedom on the run to become a on hand dancer
Come home, face life facts eventually
I can't do this on my own, thats my honesty, truly
come home on this watery night; on a verge of a break down
you always disappoint with a frown
or just leave this family to drown
Author notes
oh my sisters a peach,(roles eyes) love her though just get your life together and grow up.
A contest entry
- Choose from two titles. by Andrew Wood.
700 points, ended August 5, 2009, 6 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Rhyming prewrites :] by Flash ss7.
577 points, ended August 7, 2009, 77 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
do you understand the concept...did you like it?
Comments
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Heartfelt
Well done with this... Very heartfelt and sincere. I love some of the metaphor you have used in this, too. Just a few little spellings to help you revise it-
"bare" should be "bear"
"innocents" should be "innocence"
Also in the third line from the end, it could be "on the verge of a breakdown" or "from the verge of a breakdown". Over to you
Best of luck in the contest, and best of luck to your father too. God bless
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oh thank you that made my poem that much better
hugs
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beautiful
Your use of imagery in this poem is fantastic, the meter in places is a little off but that does't matter withthis because the lines and words themselves arejust magical... it's jus the small things that make this poem great like Porcelain Face and liquid courage...
This really is an excellent write ^^ Thankyou. -
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thank you
I'm glad you liked it
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